bekah brunstetter
Bekah Brunstetter I care deeply. About a lot of things. Like really, really deep. Ow
playwright in brooklyn, NY

Contradictions

November 13th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

  • Bakes cookies for feminist theater group meeting
  • Spends entire feminist theater group meeting wondering why no one’s eating her cookies
  • When asked for her feminist thoughts about theater, just shouts I BAKED COOKIES
  • Disappears under couch cushion
  • makes mental note to ask for recipe for Mother’s Macaroni and Cheese

Posted in a lot, generally, ha, hmmmmm, whining, women | No Comments »

gun control for babies

November 8th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

  • Poor mental health is a definitely large factor in mass shootings
  • Another large factor in mass shootings would be guns
  • Poor mental health,  even when observed by trained professionals, is tricky to regulate, as you can’t hold it in your hands
  • You can hold a gun in your hands
  • REGULATE GUNS
  • AND ALSO MENTAL HEALTH, YES THAT SYSTEM IS ALSO BROKEN BUT
  • START  WITH THE THING YOU CAN SEE

I understand last night’s mass shooting, 40 miles from where I live, ‘the worst mass shooting in the US in twelve days,’ is a NRA’s dream. The shooter owned his weapons legally (except for the magazines) making it a mental health issue. But a mental health professional cleared him in April. Because how can you really even tell how broken a person is, what they might do? I’m not a policy genius, I’m just a grown up baby with a blog, BUT ISN’T THE ANSWER SO VERY VERY CLEAR? 

Posted in a lot, generally, I am furious, i am scared, the whole world | No Comments »

why to never drink water at a wedding

October 28th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

Note: Though the below might suggest otherwise, I AM staying hopeful and positive that I will someday ‘become a pregnant person,’ as my doctor calls it. I basically just can no longer keep the worry and hilarity of this life phase off of my blog. I’ve tried to keep it off of here, in fear of being over-dramatic or worse, pessimistic, and also just out of respect for the women who have truly been in the thick of this for nine times the amount of days that I have, with greater heartbreak, BUT I MEAN WHY EVEN ELSE HAVE A BLOG / THIS IS LITERALLY WHAT BLOGS ARE FOR / NOW YOU GET TO WORRY ABOUT MY FERTILITY TOO / YOU’RE WELCOME! 

At a friend’s wedding, I decide to switch to water, like just for a minute, because Hydration and Headache. Very nice well-intentioned other friend spots me with said glass of water, and I don’t know, maybe a poorly positioned wrap dress? Perhaps a face swollen from baking my feelings and eating them?  I don’t know. Her eyes light up like Christmas but with a secret, and she rushes to my side.

Friend (furtively:) Are you pregnant?

Me: What? NO. No no no no no no no no (then, approximately 100 more No’s) 

Friend: Oh — God, sorry — I’m so sorry, I just thought —

Me: It’s fine. It’s totally fine. Are you pregnant?

Friend: Um — I don’t think so?

Me: I only ask because recently, it has come to attention that I am the only female person in the entire world and on the entire internet that is not pregnant.  Everyone I went to high school and college with, and their bosses and neighbors and friends, and the people who sell them their groceries and their cars, everyone I’ve ever emailed or envied is pregnant.  Even the moments I’m not pregnant are pregnant with all of the pregnancies I’m not pregnant with.

(A moment.)

Friend: Oh my God. You’re right. I think I’m pregnant. That’s so weird, I wasn’t even trying!

Me: SEE? YOU SEE?!

Friend: Oh God, can I get you some wine?

Me: YES PLZ TEN BUCKETS, AND WITH GREAT HASTE

 

Posted in a lot, babies, generally, ha, hmmmmm, how interesting, i am a grown up, i am lucky, i am scared, life, love, MAWWAGE., oh nooo, the future, tout, trying too hard, whining, women, words, worrying, YAY | No Comments »

EXCLUSIVE PICS

September 19th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

FINALLY: THE EXCLUSIVE EMMYS PICTURES YOU’VE BEEN WAITING FOR:

1/543 of my attempt to get a nice picture of Morrison and I on the red carpet, for some reason featuring someone else’s phone:

My balanced, post-Emmys dinner, featuring a fresh cut on my hand from when I face planted while jogging the morning of the Emmys, while thinking about everything I had to do before getting ready for the Emmy’s, and all of life after it, and is there an apostrophe in Emmys or not FACEPLANT:

And my hair in a dark kitchen, eleven hours later:

PLZ FEEL FREE TO SELL TO TMZ BUT IF YOU DO, PLZ GIVE AT LEAST 60% OF PROFIT TO NC FLOOD VICTIMS, THNKS

Posted in a lot, generally, ha, i am lucky, I write for television?, life, YAY | No Comments »

ALL OF IT

September 11th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

Today, in the Salad of my head: At the first preview of The Cake last night, the older couple in front of me’s assisted listening devices weren’t working, and so they couldn’t hear 80% of the play and I was so frustrated for them. Also I finally, after a month of pain and dizziness and fog, have my brain back and my wits about me. And so given what happened 17 years ago today — I will spend this entire day, and hopefully all of the rest of them, remembering that it’s all a gift. Nothing is guaranteed. Hearing is a miracle. Health is good fortune. LIFE IS A BONUS. IT’S ALL GIFTS, ALL OF IT.

Posted in a lot, generally, i am lucky, i have peace | No Comments »

that tiny, delicate life

August 18th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

  • purchases tiny, delicate necklace  for every day wear, in hopes of being a tiny, delicate person that just floats around like a whisper, dotted with diamonds the size of molecules
  • manages to wear it for about four months
  • in a moment of complete non-delicacy, HULKS OUT AND YANKS ON NECKLACE LIKE IT’S MADE OF CHAINS USED TO CAPTURE WHALES; SNAPS NECKLACE IN HALF
  • searches for another, CYCLE CONTINUES

Posted in a lot, generally, ha, things that I Have, tout, trying too hard, whining, women | No Comments »

I AM FUNNY (?)

August 9th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

Today, on where my brain goes and goes: I sometimes find myself wondering whether or not I’m funny, which is probably not something an actual funny person does, and then I remember that one time six years ago when I met Stephen Merchant because we were both doing the 24 Hour Plays on Broadway, and I had just taken the red eye from LA and he had done the same from London, and when he asked me how I was doing, I said I was pre-tired and he said what’s that? and I said, it’s when you’re not tired yet, but you know you’re going to be very soon, and the thought of how tired you’re going to be makes you very tired and he just sort of looked at me for a few moments, then made this exact face:

and said, that’s funny. You’re funny, and I felt like I deserved my own stand up special, wondered if he would ask me for more jokes for HIS stand up special, then, pre-tired,  we both passed out in soft pile of interns, missed most to all of rehearsal.

Posted in a lot, famous people stuff, generally, ha, hmmmmm | No Comments »

The Actual Question

August 7th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

Everyone is currently all up in Arms (GET IT? DO YOU?) about downloadable guns, which honestly seem terrifying to me, because how do you even regulate those, but I have a much more macro question / concern: WTF IS A 3 D PRINTER AND HOW DOES IT MAKE ACTUAL THINGS? HOW DO YOU PUT THE STUFF IN IT TO MAKE THE THING? HOW DOES IT THEN BECOME A THING, AND DOES IT FEEL AND LOOK LIKE A THING? NO REALLY PLZ SOMEONE EXPLAIN THIS TO ME BECAUSE I CAN BARELY PRINT A SHIPPING LABEL

Posted in a lot, generally, hmmmmm, i am scared | No Comments »

EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS

July 31st, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

‘LOST RABBIT. Answers to the name ‘Little Bunny Foo Foo.’ We lost our precious little Fuzzy-Wuzzy three days ago when he broke free from his leash on his walk. Our kids are heartbroken and inconsolable.* He loves to cuddle and nap  with you*  but careful, he nibbles on appendages (he’s a carnivore.) He’s a very rare and expensive breed.*  We’re not rich,* BUT A REWARD IS OFFERED.

*this is actually quite sad to me

*unlike…other rabbits?

*please note that he’s very expensive but also DON’T sell him

*BUT WE ARE INSANE, THO

Posted in a lot, animals, generally, ha, hmmmmm, YAY | No Comments »

youth is busy

July 25th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

I’ve been trying to find time to get on the phone with a woman who grew up with my Grandma in Brooklyn. As we were trying to agree upon a time over email, she said something  that I cannot get out of my head: youth is busy. She sits, calm, in a sort of peace, waiting for me to find time to hear all that she has to say, all that I need to hear. Meanwhile, I spiral and vibrate and tremor and doubleback, trying to ‘find’ time when really, it’s right there in front of me. It’s right now.

Posted in a lot, generally, hmmmmm, how interesting, i am a grown up, whining, words | No Comments »

« Previous Entries