bekah brunstetter
Bekah Brunstetter I care deeply. About a lot of things. Like really, really deep. Ow
playwright in brooklyn, NY

BEST 27

December 31st, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

Once again, I choose not to limit my year in review to a mere nine pictures, because I mean, there were just too many Cakes. Honestly even the happiest moments of this year feel slightly tinged with sadness, but scrolling through, I was happy to see / remember that I managed quality time with ALL of my favorite women, saw 4 of the 10 (I think 10?) of the year’s productions of the Cake, went to Hawaii for the first time, and was endlessly, continuously amused by my husband. Not pictured are other accomplishments like ‘actually started flossing regularly sort of’ and ‘purchased a kitchen mandolin’ and ‘started writing things down in a single notebook’ and ‘opened airline credit card to obtain travel points only to discover that Airline does not offer direct flights between New York and LA which is literally the only reason why I opened the freaking card.’

Went to the Ovation Awards with Miss Debra Jo Rupp who WON, La Jolla Playhouse Cake production, got some bro time in NYC / workshopped my TBTB play, Highlands with Blaine and Carrie, KAUAI with Morrison, Chicago Cake with Mack, went to visit E in the mountains:

MTC announced OFF BROADWAY CAKE!, Morrison unearthed this incredible headshot, I made a bitmoji, TULUM WITH ELIZABETH, Gracie awards with This is Us writer Women, Elli’s wedding!, Alley Theater/ Houston Cake, a visit from Tim:

We revamped our back yard, Tim got married, MORRISON DONNED A GOLD FACE MASK, Emmys, Geffen Cake / LA remount, got an alumni award from UNC, celebrated 2 years marriage, desperately dressed up for Halloween for three trick or treaters, HOSTED A DREAM THANKSGIVING FOR DREAM FAMILY.

 

Posted in a lot, horn tooting, how interesting, i am lucky, life, love, MAWWAGE., things that I Have, tout, YAY | No Comments »

allow me to CATch you up

December 6th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

Hi, were you wondering were my Cat likes to hang out? OF COURSE YOU WERE. MY therapist recently advised me to pet Cracker whenever I felt anxious or overwhelmed, as nothing is more grounding or satisfying. And it’s as if the dude read my mind. It only took a year,  but Cracker is now super into our couch. For months he cuddled himself into corners and shoes and piles of tents in the garage, and then finally he was like, oh, COUCHES ARE MAYBE SOFT, AND FOR SITTING / LYING DOWN. And now he just chills there all day, namely when I’m watching TV,  and honestly it’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me, and I’ve  had snickerdoodle ice cream AND been to Thailand.

I HAVE SEVEN THOUSAND MORE / PLEASE INQUIRE WITHIN /  PLEASE PROVIDE YOUR OWN EXTERNAL HARD DRIVE

Posted in a lot, animals, i am lucky, life, love, YAY | No Comments »

it Has to be Hard

December 4th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

At some point, early on in our relationship, Morrison and I were discussing something that I of course can’t recall. It went something like:

Morrison: I’m loving how easy this element of our combined life and / or relationship is.

Me: Yeah but sometimes, it has to be Hard. 

And ever since, he likes to repeat my own words back to me, when it in fact gets Hard, because of course, sometimes it does. I think what I was trying to say is that I didn’t want to feel like we were just in a relationship because it was easy. I wanted us to choose to be together, despite the Hard stuff. And for the last year,  there has been some Hard stuff. I mean, also the good stuff, like there is House and Family and Most Perfect Cat, there are blessings of Intellect, Careers, Curiosity, and Christmas Lights, and good lord, don’t get me started on microwavable breakfast sausage. But also: we want to be parents, and we are not. (YET.) And that has been Hard. Not knowing why not has been Hard, waiting has been Hard, watching it happen for other people has been Hard.  Yesterday, I underwent a (very routine) procedure (that I will try very hard not to be overdramatic about)  to correct some issues that turns out have been, well, making it Hard for us to conceive (THANK YOU, SCIENCE. MEDICINE? SCIENCE. I DON’T KNOW. I WRITE PLAYS.) And now, on the other side of it, we’re hopeful that 2019 will make us parents, rob us of sleep, turn our home into a teething ring, and other beautifully Hard things that I will surely complain about, PERHAPS EVEN HERE.  And I really can’t wait for that Hard stuff. Because, I mean, a wise Bekah once said, not really realizing what she was saying, or that it would echo through her heart for years to come: IT HAS TO BE HARD. I know for a fact that whenever a small person takes over my body and subsequently, our home, I will appreciate it harder, because it was Hard. So I’m just going to focus, Hard, on that fact.

 

Posted in a dream is a wish your heart makes, a lot, babies, life, love, MAWWAGE., the future, whining, women, worrying, YAY | No Comments »

Ornaments as Memory

November 26th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

A beautiful thing happened, in which Morrison and I can longer remember whose Christmas ornaments are whose. They all now live together in the same box and have fused histories, shared hooks and strings. With some of them, we just have a vague memory of receiving them, like this Cake slice that someone rightfully gave me last year:

And then of course some are 100% clear, like obviously these are my baby’s first Christmas balls:

And some of them it’s like, WHERE DID THIS ONE EVEN COME FROM?

AND LIKE, WHY EVEN GIVE US A STAR THAT’S TOO BIG TO PUT ON THE TOP OF THE TREE

Posted in a lot, holidays, horn tooting, how interesting, i am a grown up, life, love, MAWWAGE., memories, things, things that I Have, YAY | No Comments »

why to never drink water at a wedding

October 28th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

Note: Though the below might suggest otherwise, I AM staying hopeful and positive that I will someday ‘become a pregnant person,’ as my doctor calls it. I basically just can no longer keep the worry and hilarity of this life phase off of my blog. I’ve tried to keep it off of here, in fear of being over-dramatic or worse, pessimistic, and also just out of respect for the women who have truly been in the thick of this for nine times the amount of days that I have, with greater heartbreak, BUT I MEAN WHY EVEN ELSE HAVE A BLOG / THIS IS LITERALLY WHAT BLOGS ARE FOR / NOW YOU GET TO WORRY ABOUT MY FERTILITY TOO / YOU’RE WELCOME! 

At a friend’s wedding, I decide to switch to water, like just for a minute, because Hydration and Headache. Very nice well-intentioned other friend spots me with said glass of water, and I don’t know, maybe a poorly positioned wrap dress? Perhaps a face swollen from baking my feelings and eating them?  I don’t know. Her eyes light up like Christmas but with a secret, and she rushes to my side.

Friend (furtively:) Are you pregnant?

Me: What? NO. No no no no no no no no (then, approximately 100 more No’s) 

Friend: Oh — God, sorry — I’m so sorry, I just thought —

Me: It’s fine. It’s totally fine. Are you pregnant?

Friend: Um — I don’t think so?

Me: I only ask because recently, it has come to attention that I am the only female person in the entire world and on the entire internet that is not pregnant.  Everyone I went to high school and college with, and their bosses and neighbors and friends, and the people who sell them their groceries and their cars, everyone I’ve ever emailed or envied is pregnant.  Even the moments I’m not pregnant are pregnant with all of the pregnancies I’m not pregnant with.

(A moment.)

Friend: Oh my God. You’re right. I think I’m pregnant. That’s so weird, I wasn’t even trying!

Me: SEE? YOU SEE?!

Friend: Oh God, can I get you some wine?

Me: YES PLZ TEN BUCKETS, AND WITH GREAT HASTE

 

Posted in a lot, babies, generally, ha, hmmmmm, how interesting, i am a grown up, i am lucky, i am scared, life, love, MAWWAGE., oh nooo, the future, tout, trying too hard, whining, women, words, worrying, YAY | No Comments »

when life pulls you inside

September 23rd, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

We were filming in a residential neighborhood Friday, and on our lunch break, I decided to power walk around it, to make up for all of the 27 tiny snickers bars I stress-ate between shots. As I stress-walked, I stress-thought about all of the things I needed to do, all of the undone things, both immediate and future, we need a lamp for the living room and I need to rewrite that movie and when will I become a pregnant person, and DID I fracture a rib when I face planted while stress-jogging last weekend, or what is that pain near my heart, is it just heart-pain? Or is it a slowly breaking heart? Then suddenly, a voice from a door, an old, sweet voice. It was a tiny old woman, pleading with me from her front step:  please come over, please come inside, I need your help. I went right over, and she kept pleading with me, lost and close to tears,  I need something, I don’t know what it is, but I need you to tell the neighbor, I already told her son, but I can’t remember why, I — her nurse stood behind her, with an over it look that infuriated me — it’s good that you’re here, she’s not authorized to — and I need someone to know, so it’s good that you know. I just need to get to my chair. Please help me get to my chair. And she took my hand, and I helped her inside, into an untouched living room, that she once lived in but now did not recognize, and we got her onto the couch. She took a few breaths. It’s good you’re here. It’s okay, now. You can go. But you come back, any time. Leave your address. I got her name, told her mine, and left. My walk back to work was thoughtful and present and slow. All stress, gone. All I could think of was how incredible it is it be trusted, and that there are people, and that they trust each other, and that they get old and no one sees them anymore, that the young people whir around them worrying about things they can’t control, that they stand lost in their own doorways, waiting for a young person to pass by.

Posted in a lot, hmmmmm, how interesting, i am lucky, life, the future, the whole world, tout | No Comments »

EXCLUSIVE PICS

September 19th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

FINALLY: THE EXCLUSIVE EMMYS PICTURES YOU’VE BEEN WAITING FOR:

1/543 of my attempt to get a nice picture of Morrison and I on the red carpet, for some reason featuring someone else’s phone:

My balanced, post-Emmys dinner, featuring a fresh cut on my hand from when I face planted while jogging the morning of the Emmys, while thinking about everything I had to do before getting ready for the Emmy’s, and all of life after it, and is there an apostrophe in Emmys or not FACEPLANT:

And my hair in a dark kitchen, eleven hours later:

PLZ FEEL FREE TO SELL TO TMZ BUT IF YOU DO, PLZ GIVE AT LEAST 60% OF PROFIT TO NC FLOOD VICTIMS, THNKS

Posted in a lot, generally, ha, i am lucky, I write for television?, life, YAY | No Comments »

where to Look when your brother Weds

August 5th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

My Tiny baby brother Tim got married on Friday, to a  gorgeous, grounded and kind cardiac nurse — and by kind nurse, I mean she left her rehearsal dinner to escort a family member who was having a heart event* to the ER (*what playwrights call bad heart things.)  I don’t know what I was expecting, watching my youngest brother, who I shared a room with for years, who I think the largest world of, who I think has the the tenderest of hearts and sharpest of wits though he never presents with either — marry the girl he loves — but basically every time I caught him looking at her with any sort of love, the kind of of love that shuts out the world and the wedding and all expectations and even the past, I sobbed through my eyelash glue for 17 seconds.

I didn’t have to do a toast, but obviously, Dan and Pete toasted Tim. The toasts were beautiful, laced with emotional restraint and military humor and humble admissions of what it feels like to look up to your younger brother, and obviously, I sat as close to all of them as humanly possible while these toasts were happening, like I’m basically sitting on Sarah’s lap. Another obviously: I took a million pictures because it’s rare to see my three brothers together, feeling something. Traveling back to LA last night, I looked at each of these pictures, trying to find the best one(s) so that I might delete some… but really, each one I took is essential. While they all look basically the same, each captures a tiny feeling felt by a brother, warm stabs otherwise covered.

PETE LOOKS AT FLOOR SO AS TO NOT MAKE EYE CONTACT:

TIM DRINKS BEER SO AS TO NOT FEEL

DAN LOOKS AT CELING SO AS TO NOT SOB

DAN DOES STAND UP WORTHY OF LATE NIGHT TELEVISION, TIM’S LUNGS LEAK TEARS

DAN’S TOAST GETS PHYSICAL, TIM THINKS ABOUT BEATING HIM UP LATER, PETE FOCUSES ON CHANDELIER SO AS TO NOT HUG TIM

Posted in a lot, boys, brothers, family, i am lucky, life, love, MAWWAGE. | No Comments »

CORRECTION

July 8th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

Every theater company doing The Cake, in all of their marketing materials: WE ARE SO PROUD TO PRESENT THIS PLAY, WRITTEN BY THE HEAD WRITER AND CREATOR AND SOLE BRAIN BEHIND THIS IS US!

Me, frantically: IT’S NOT ME I’M JUST ONE OF THE WRITER’S I DID NOT CREATE PLZ ADJUST IMMEDIATELY

Theater Company:……?

Me: IT’S JUST THAT SERIOUSLY, I AM REALLY IN NO WAY IN CHARGE AND IF MY BOSSES SAW THIS I WOULD DIE

Theater Company: But can we tell everyone that you are?

Me: PLEASE DON’T

Theater Company: But what if we just let people BELIEVE that you are, so as to sell tickets?

Me: I FEEL ASHAMED

Posted in a lot, i am lucky, I write for television?, I'M SO EXCITED, lies, life, trying too hard, working, worrying, YAY | No Comments »

that time my Dad was right

June 22nd, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

Next week, I will have been being bloggy on this here blog basically every day for eleven years. For me it’s not JUST telling you what pants I’m wearing or what catastrophe I’m currently wringing my hands over, it’s also discipline. It’s an exercise in making a promise to oneself, and keeping it. It’s also an excuse to pause each day, form a thought. It’s a collection of memories, it’s how I know what I was doing on Thanksgiving five years ago, it’s how my old self gives my present self advice, it’s, okay IT’S MY FAVORITE THING IN THE WORLD, because it’s nothing and everything, because it’s whatever it wants to be, because it’s Mine. But. Lately, my brain has been stretched so thin with various projects that I find myself approaching this space like the box checker that I am — blogging frantically, like QUICK DO A GOOGLE IMAGE SEARCH OF THE FIRST WORD THAT COMES TO YOUR HEAD AND PUT IT UP WITH PERHAPS HALF A SENTENCE, and for what? For who? And so, as my Dad gently suggested a few weeks ago (THANKS DAD, DON’T CHOKE ON YOUR I TOLD YOU SO!)  I’m going to simply remove the pressure to be here every single day, and instead, just when I really have something to say, perhaps more like 3-4 times a week. I mean, it’s like they always say. You’re never too old to listen to your Dad, and you’re never too young to have human feelings for the internet. Okay? OKAY, SEE YOU BACK HERE TOMORROW WHEN I AM PHYSICALLY INCAPABLE OF NOT BLOGGING, BYE!

 

Posted in a lot, how interesting, i am a grown up, i am scared, life, YAY | No Comments »

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