bekah brunstetter
Bekah Brunstetter I care deeply. About a lot of things. Like really, really deep. Ow
playwright in brooklyn, NY

Try and Come

April 21st, 2019 by Bekah Brunstetter

HAPPY MY FAVORITE HOLIDAY!!! In celebration of Christ’s resurrection, WE ARE ACCIDENTALLY HAVING 100 PPL OVER TO OUR HOUSE FOR HONEY HAM BECAUSE LIKE 90% OF THE PPL WE INVITED ARE COMING, WHICH NEVER HAPPENS, BUT YAY.  While scrolling through the RSVP’s in slight terror, I encountered one of my favorite ridiculous things that people say: I’m going to try and come. What does this even mean? You either go, or don’t go. How do you TRY and go? Is it like a person  TRYING to leave their driveway, but their car is blocked by a giant boulder, so they Try and move it, but can’t, and stay home? This is Try. Or maybe Jesus trying to exit his tomb to get to his I’m Alive again Party, that he definitely RSVPed for, but he can’t move the Stone. Sorry y’all. I tried to come, but I could not. 

Posted in a lot, hmmmmm, holidays, how interesting, YAY | No Comments »

GROWN UP EGG HUNT

April 17th, 2019 by Bekah Brunstetter

Morrison and I are in prep mode for the giant Easter potluck / egg hunt we’re hosting Sunday, in which we’re going to revel in all of our friend’s children for four hours THEN POLITELY ASK THEM TO LEAVE SO WE CAN WATCH GAME OF THRONES ALONE. In the invite, I called it an ‘all ages egg hunt’ which I’m realizing is a terrible idea, as obviously, the grown ups will find the eggs before the children. But as a thought experiment, I’m making a mental list of the things that would go inside of Grown-up eggs:

  • Tiny succulents
  • Midol
  • Tylenol PM
  • Weed Gummies
  • Passwords to private links to indie short films
  • Squirts of hand sanitizer
  • Claritin
  • Boullion cubes
  • Xanax
  • AND OTHER REASONS WHY THERE SHOULD NEVER BE A GROWN UP EGG HUNT

 

Posted in a lot, generally, ha, holidays, how interesting, i am a grown up | No Comments »

MY DAYS ARE NUMBERED

December 30th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

To whoever thought to invent number shaped cookie cutters: CONGRATULATIONS AND WELCOME INTO MY WILL, IF NOT MY LIFE’S WORK, IF NOT MY LEGACY. You were probably a 19th century Grandma who one morning bent metal into a 2, and you are probably long gone, but still, I would just really like to shake your hand, if not high five you, if that was a thing Then.

Posted in a lot, food, generally, ha, holidays, how interesting, i am a grown up, i am lucky, procrastibaking, YAY | No Comments »

why to let your Dad shop for your Husband

December 24th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

THIS HAPPENS.

Then your Grandma proceeds to tell your husband he has a nice butt, and you say ‘You’re right grandma, in fact,  it was in fact one of the first things I liked about him,’ and both just sit there, thinking about your husband’s butt, and other time-tested, family holiday traditions.

Posted in a lot, hmmmmm, holidays, i am lucky, MAWWAGE., silly, YAY | No Comments »

field research

December 12th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

EXCITING DRAMATURGICAL ANNOUNCEMENT! I’ve always wanted to write a Christmas Play, so that in the year 2320 when I’m long gone, I’ll be remembered solely by my Christmas play which every robot high school in the midwest performs every single year. And so: my next play, a commission for South Coast Rep in Costa Mesa, CA is about a disgruntled group of Mall Santas. Why, here’s my niece Olivia, helping her auntie with a little field research:

Other words for  ‘field research’ include ‘confronting fears’ and ‘sitting on the warm lap of the devil’ and ‘confusing exercise in terror’ and ‘WHY MOMMY WHY.’ THE FUTURE ROBOT THESPIANS THANK YOU, LIV. NOW GET BACK OUT THERE / TAKE NOTES.

Posted in a lot, generally, ha, holidays, the writing of drama plays, YAY | No Comments »

Jam

December 10th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

SORRY I CAN’T MAKE YOUR CHRISTMAS PARTY, I’M IN A REAL JAM OVER HERE

BY WHICH I MEAN, I SPENT SIX HOURS PEELING GINGER AND CHOPPING PEARS AND I MADE JAM AS IF MY LIFE DEPENDING ON IT

I’D LOVE TO COME TO YOUR PARTY BUT I REALLY JUST HAVE TO SIT HERE AND ADMIRE MY JAM  / WONDER WHY I MADE IT

Posted in a lot, hmmmmm, holidays, how interesting, i am a grown up | No Comments »

Ornaments as Memory

November 26th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

A beautiful thing happened, in which Morrison and I can longer remember whose Christmas ornaments are whose. They all now live together in the same box and have fused histories, shared hooks and strings. With some of them, we just have a vague memory of receiving them, like this Cake slice that someone rightfully gave me last year:

And then of course some are 100% clear, like obviously these are my baby’s first Christmas balls:

And some of them it’s like, WHERE DID THIS ONE EVEN COME FROM?

AND LIKE, WHY EVEN GIVE US A STAR THAT’S TOO BIG TO PUT ON THE TOP OF THE TREE

Posted in a lot, holidays, horn tooting, how interesting, i am a grown up, life, love, MAWWAGE., memories, things, things that I Have, YAY | No Comments »

Be that House

October 30th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

I’ve always wanted to be that House that gives out Whole Candy Bars at Halloween, and this year, now that we are finally in a house that might actually get some trick or treaters,  WE ARE.

Not pictured: desperate and over-enthused compliments of costumes, unsolicited words of encouragement and weird voices,  awkward demands for tricks, all of which we will ALSO be handing out, but just do not fit in any sort of bowl.

 

 

Posted in a lot, holidays, how interesting, i am a grown up, trying too hard, YAY | No Comments »

one woman’s leftover easter Honey Ham

April 25th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

….is another woman (read: self)’s ALSO LEFTOVER HONEY HAM, and subsequently, SOUPZ.

SaveSave

Posted in a lot, food, holidays, how interesting, YAY | No Comments »

EASTER APRIL FOOLS

April 1st, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

JESUS: (to his disciples): YOU GUYS! IT’S ME! I’m alive!

Disciples: Whoa, what?

JESUS: I’m alive!

Disciples: WHAT?! THIS IS AMAZING!

JESUS: ….JK!

Disciples:….Wait, what?

JESUS: April foolsssssss! I totally had you guys.

Disciples: Wait, Are you alive or are you not alive?

JESUS: Yes.

Disciple: ….?

JESUS: Ah, man, I LOVE April Fools! I got big plans today. Now who wants to come around with me and tell people the earth is ROUND?

Disciples: That’s hysterical! Obviously all of us.

Posted in a lot, ha, history, hmmmmm, holidays, how interesting | No Comments »

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