bekah brunstetter
Bekah Brunstetter I care deeply. About a lot of things. Like really, really deep. Ow
playwright in brooklyn, NY

COMING SOON TO MY LOWER BODY NEAR YOU

November 10th, 2019 by Bekah Brunstetter

It is requiring every fiber of my rational adult being to not order these Christmas leggings

NO WAIT YEAH, I JUST ORDERED THEM

Posted in a lot, holidays, how interesting, i am a grown up, what I'm wearing, YAY | No Comments »

I WROTE THIS (?)

November 6th, 2019 by Bekah Brunstetter

I truly don’t understand how I’ve made it through any previous Christmases without this Hallmark movie. I discovered it last night, because November. It’s Romeo and Juliet, but the feuding families are NEIGHBORING CHRISTMAS TREE FARMS, aptly named, the Spruces, and the Pines. They had me at this alone, but then it faithfully continued to check every single one of my boxes:

  • A love interest girl with a perfect blowout and the most amazing collection of snow boots, who is studying horticulture in college
  • A love interest guy who wears nothing but cowboy boots and reminds his love interest and the audience in every scene that he’s from Texas
  • A character named Bear who’s a big guy who cuts down the trees and is constantly shamed for eating Pastries
  • A scene in which the love interests drink tea that’s made from pine needles steeped in water (?)
  • a random scene in which an Soldier, fresh off the plane home from Iraq, gets given a tiny Christmas tree, just because
  • Letters from a dead Mom
  • Letters from a dead mom discovered in a secret box of Christmas tree ornaments
  • Fake coldness
  • Dads wearing winter work Coats
  • thirsty background people tucked into scarves and hats
  • A single random Christmas tree in the middle of a baseball field
  • A flash forward at the end to a Christmas Day wedding
  • the traditional 900 clearly empty coffee cups and rolling suitcases
  • THE GENERAL AND OVERWHELMING FEELING THAT CHRISTMAS IS WHEN LOVE AND FAMILY AND FORGIVENESS HAPPEN
  • THE GENERAL AND OVERWHELMING FEELING THAT I WROTE THIS MOVIE (DID I WRITE IT?)

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WE’RE FINE, HOW ARE YOU?

October 29th, 2019 by Bekah Brunstetter

I’ve finally located the most perfect anecdote to share whenever I’m asked, How are you, How are things? I will now reply:

Well yesterday, I came home from the doctor frustrated because it takes a long time because it always takes a long time, and it eats into my time to Work, and I’d spent the drive home trying to think through a note on my Santa Claus play, and my brain was too full of big worries to think it through it clearly, and so Morrison found me sobbing in a doorway, crying I DON’T KNOW WHAT SANTA WANTS!!!! SO I’M BASICALLY FINE, HOW ARE YOU?

Posted in holidays, the making of babies, the writing of drama plays, whining, YAY | No Comments »

It is Well

October 3rd, 2019 by Bekah Brunstetter

With my Soul

(FYI THIS IS MY SOUL)

(MY SOUL IS SEASONAL; DELICIOUS)

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Try and Come

April 21st, 2019 by Bekah Brunstetter

HAPPY MY FAVORITE HOLIDAY!!! In celebration of Christ’s resurrection, WE ARE ACCIDENTALLY HAVING 100 PPL OVER TO OUR HOUSE FOR HONEY HAM BECAUSE LIKE 90% OF THE PPL WE INVITED ARE COMING, WHICH NEVER HAPPENS, BUT YAY.  While scrolling through the RSVP’s in slight terror, I encountered one of my favorite ridiculous things that people say: I’m going to try and come. What does this even mean? You either go, or don’t go. How do you TRY and go? Is it like a person  TRYING to leave their driveway, but their car is blocked by a giant boulder, so they Try and move it, but can’t, and stay home? This is Try. Or maybe Jesus trying to exit his tomb to get to his I’m Alive again Party, that he definitely RSVPed for, but he can’t move the Stone. Sorry y’all. I tried to come, but I could not. 

Posted in a lot, hmmmmm, holidays, how interesting, YAY | No Comments »

GROWN UP EGG HUNT

April 17th, 2019 by Bekah Brunstetter

Morrison and I are in prep mode for the giant Easter potluck / egg hunt we’re hosting Sunday, in which we’re going to revel in all of our friend’s children for four hours THEN POLITELY ASK THEM TO LEAVE SO WE CAN WATCH GAME OF THRONES ALONE. In the invite, I called it an ‘all ages egg hunt’ which I’m realizing is a terrible idea, as obviously, the grown ups will find the eggs before the children. But as a thought experiment, I’m making a mental list of the things that would go inside of Grown-up eggs:

  • Tiny succulents
  • Midol
  • Tylenol PM
  • Weed Gummies
  • Passwords to private links to indie short films
  • Squirts of hand sanitizer
  • Claritin
  • Boullion cubes
  • Xanax
  • AND OTHER REASONS WHY THERE SHOULD NEVER BE A GROWN UP EGG HUNT

 

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MY DAYS ARE NUMBERED

December 30th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

To whoever thought to invent number shaped cookie cutters: CONGRATULATIONS AND WELCOME INTO MY WILL, IF NOT MY LIFE’S WORK, IF NOT MY LEGACY. You were probably a 19th century Grandma who one morning bent metal into a 2, and you are probably long gone, but still, I would just really like to shake your hand, if not high five you, if that was a thing Then.

Posted in a lot, food, generally, ha, holidays, how interesting, i am a grown up, i am lucky, procrastibaking, YAY | No Comments »

why to let your Dad shop for your Husband

December 24th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

THIS HAPPENS.

Then your Grandma proceeds to tell your husband he has a nice butt, and you say ‘You’re right grandma, in fact,  it was in fact one of the first things I liked about him,’ and both just sit there, thinking about your husband’s butt, and other time-tested, family holiday traditions.

Posted in a lot, hmmmmm, holidays, i am lucky, MAWWAGE., silly, YAY | No Comments »

field research

December 12th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

EXCITING DRAMATURGICAL ANNOUNCEMENT! I’ve always wanted to write a Christmas Play, so that in the year 2320 when I’m long gone, I’ll be remembered solely by my Christmas play which every robot high school in the midwest performs every single year. And so: my next play, a commission for South Coast Rep in Costa Mesa, CA is about a disgruntled group of Mall Santas. Why, here’s my niece Olivia, helping her auntie with a little field research:

Other words for  ‘field research’ include ‘confronting fears’ and ‘sitting on the warm lap of the devil’ and ‘confusing exercise in terror’ and ‘WHY MOMMY WHY.’ THE FUTURE ROBOT THESPIANS THANK YOU, LIV. NOW GET BACK OUT THERE / TAKE NOTES.

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Jam

December 10th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

SORRY I CAN’T MAKE YOUR CHRISTMAS PARTY, I’M IN A REAL JAM OVER HERE

BY WHICH I MEAN, I SPENT SIX HOURS PEELING GINGER AND CHOPPING PEARS AND I MADE JAM AS IF MY LIFE DEPENDING ON IT

I’D LOVE TO COME TO YOUR PARTY BUT I REALLY JUST HAVE TO SIT HERE AND ADMIRE MY JAM  / WONDER WHY I MADE IT

Posted in a lot, hmmmmm, holidays, how interesting, i am a grown up | No Comments »

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