bekah brunstetter
Bekah Brunstetter I care deeply. About a lot of things. Like really, really deep. Ow
playwright in brooklyn, NY

nonpost

June 1st, 2017 by Bekah Brunstetter

I do not engage in mindless and narcissistic social pacts such as ‘Throwback Thursday,’ but here is a picture of myself that just so happens to be from the past clearly posing in front of a house that is actually made of mirrors so that it might reflect my own self back to me 100 times.

Posted in YAY, narcissism, vacay's, whining, women | No Comments »

EYE’M MAD

May 25th, 2017 by Bekah Brunstetter

DEAR WOMEN WHO CAN SEE:

DON’T WEAR GLASSES THAT YOU DON’T ACTUALLY NEED TO SEE JUST BECAUSE THEY LOOK COOL. IT IS INSULTING TO PEOPLE WHO ACTUALLY NEED GLASSES, LIKE TO SEE, WHICH IS THE POINT OF GLASSES. IT’S LIKE DECIDING TO ROCK A WHEELCHAIR EVEN THOUGH YOU DON’T NEED IT TO WALK JUST BECAUSE IT MATCHES YOUR NEW FUN HIGH TOPS. VISUAL IMPAIRMENT IS AN ACTUAL THING.

SINCERELY,

OTHERWISE COMPLETELY ABLE BODIED PERSON WITH BAD EYES

Posted in what I'm wearing, what i am NOT wearing, whining, women, words | No Comments »

oh, honey

May 20th, 2017 by Bekah Brunstetter

As I get older, I become more and more aware of things like time, consequences,  and all of the stuff from the grocery store that I am supposed to put on my face so as to keep my skin looking young. Apparently one of these things is honey, and also greek yogurt, so just basically you put your breakfast on your face and then just let it slide off into your lap and then you know, just go from there. The best part of imagining putting honey all over my face is the fact that IT’S BEE VOMIT, which I always forget. Please, every time you drip it into your tea / rub it on your face / gently lather it over just toast, REMEMBER THAT IT’S PUKE.

Posted in YAY, a lot, how interesting, i am a grown up, wanting, women | No Comments »

the capsule wardrobe

May 18th, 2017 by Bekah Brunstetter

Yesterday, I capsuled my wardrobe, which is a thing that women are now doing to their clothes. Women with arguably excess income (me) tend to sometimes (everyday) fill some unnamable void they feel with a new clothing item that they will probably never wear, or only wear once and feel dissatisfied because, in fact, sweaters do not solve larger existential problems, unless it’s a really good cashmere. Not only is the underlying emotional issue behind the purchase not addressed, it is a horrible waste of money and time that gives me great anxiety when I really think about it. Enter the capsule wardrobe, in which you basically get rid of most of your clothes and limit yourself to about 40 items that you really love to wear, that are made well, or madewell, that you feel good while wearing, and you just wear those things, which is to say, HOW MEN ALREADY TREAT THEIR CLOTHES. Getting rid of stuff felt liberating, empowering, and definitely only happened immediately after I dropped 200 bucks on new clothes that I decided were the only clothes I ever needed to wear. I AM FREE!

Posted in YAY, a lot, wanting, what I'm wearing, what i am NOT wearing, what my friends are doing, women, worrying | No Comments »

I was definitely not born with it

May 17th, 2017 by Bekah Brunstetter

Nice lady at makeup counter: Hi, can I help you?

Me: Yes, um — my face is allergic to the make up I’ve been using, and so I need some other make up.

Nice lady: Okay, so like a foundation or a compact or 2 in 1?

Me:….What?

Nice lady: What kind of make up do you normally use?

Me:….I put it on my face?

Nice lady: Okay, probably a two in one. What kind of skin do you have?

Me: Skin!

Nice lady: is it oily or dry?

Me: SKIN.

Nice Lady: Okay! Do you have a primer that you use?

Me: WHAT?

Nice lady: That you put on before your makeup.

Me: Like a moisturizer?!

Nice Lady: No, it’s a different thing that goes on after your moisturizer, before your makeup.

Me: NO I DON’T HAVE THAT AND I DON’T UNDERSTAND ANY OF WHAT YOU’RE SAYING. I NEVER LEARNED THESE THINGS. PLEASE HELP ME.

Nice Lady: try these products. And here’s my card with my number. Text me if you have any questions.

Me: OKAY BUT CAN I TEXT YOU IF I HAVE QUESTIONS ABOUT HOW TO BE AN ATTRACTIVE WOMAN, JUST IN GENERAL?

Nice Lady: Sure.

Me: YOU HAVE BEAUTIFUL HANDS

Posted in YAY, a lot, ha, i am a grown up, oh nooo, tout, trying too hard, what I'm wearing, women | No Comments »

lady vs. woman

May 11th, 2017 by Bekah Brunstetter

Part of an actor’s job is to hunt for meaning and subtext in a writer’s words. The really good and intuitive ones tend to  find something complicated and rich in your play that you did not even know was there. Naturally, it is then your job to pretend that you totally meant to put that there, so that you remain mysterious and painfully intelligent. The actor playing Della (the baker / the hero)  in the upcoming production of my play The Cake asked why  her character sometimes calls herself and other gals Ladies, and other times Women. My initial reaction was that it was just sort of a random choice, as the two are practically interchangeable. BUT ARE THEY?  Kind of not. I looked back through the script and when Della says lady, it’s more casual, colloquial, and when she says woman, she is referring more to herself or other women in the biblical sense, like a woman as wife, a woman as mother, a woman as sex.  Lady is sort of dismissive and quick, while woman has this breadth and depth, like the word itself bears the weight of the entire Role. I think this is explains why every time I hear or see myself described as a woman I feel I immediately feel like I need a better bra but also  that I should start my own business because I could but also I should be washing my husband’s clothes in the river all at once. It might be the biggest word there is. LADIES AMIRIGHT?

Posted in a lot, hmmmmm, the writing of drama plays, theater, women, words | No Comments »

why I need a uniform

May 5th, 2017 by Bekah Brunstetter

Sometimes, or, if I’m being honest, ALL OF THE TIME, I spend more time than I should thinking about what I should wear to a thing. I place a lot of value on outside appearances and neglect the interior. It trickles down even to my idea of what clean is. If a kitchen LOOKS clean, it is clean. No dishes in the sink but like quiet, secret pools of old chicken juice pushed under the dishwasher. A while back, I found this letter in a box of things at my parents’ house. I wrote it to Seventeen Magazine when I was 13 or so, for a ‘tell us why you need a Makeover’ type contest.

It is so sad and horrifying that I guess it’s also a little bit funny, but I keep it a picture of it saved on my desktop to remind myself that there’s some part of me that, for whatever reason, was trapped in this shallow loop at a young age, and that now I am an adult, and I can step out of this loop and just be a person who just wears the same thing every day, a uniform over her thoughts.

Posted in ....ew, a lot, silly, vices, wanting, what I'm wearing, what i am NOT wearing, whining, women | No Comments »

blOG

April 17th, 2017 by Bekah Brunstetter

Oh, did you think I was done with niece pictures? NOPE. Meeting wee Olivia Grace, or OG as her parents call her, was so incredible and moving that it perhaps could merit its own blOG. The absolute best part of was having proud Dad / big brother Pete hand her off to me with such tenderness and help me understand how to hold her as my instincts are to handle a child like a discount bag of rice that is really important for some reason, like if you drop it, your life will change forever, in a bad way. After I fumbled, he adjusted her –

Then medium bro Dan joined. He expresses feelings with the fervor and regularity of a wise old tree, which is to say, only occasionally. But OG melted him instantly, at LEAST 13%. SEE THE TINIEST OF SMILE THAT IS THERE?

I then got to just stare at her forever. I think I have a new favorite show.

EMMY FOR BEST SHOW THAT’S JUST WATCHING A BABY BE A BABY GOES TO:

Posted in YAY, a lot, awesome, babies, boys, brothers, family, i am lucky, women, words | No Comments »

Plays n Pie

April 3rd, 2017 by Bekah Brunstetter

People who love plays to tend to also love food and when people gather to eat food. If when people gather to eat food there is also a play, EVEN BETTER. This lovely genius girl in Brooklyn, Jessica Giannone, hosts a reading series at a bar in which she pairs plays with PIES THAT SHE BAKES.  Tonight they’re reading my play, Le Fou,  about a bunch of women writing love letters in the first ever department store in Paris. I could not possibly be more delighted. WHAT IS IN THE PIE? IS IT FULL OF FLOWERS AND FRANCE?  IF I’M THERE IN SPIRIT IS IT POSSIBLE TO ALSO EAT PIE? CAN SPIRITS EAT?

Posted in YAY, a lot, food, i am lucky, the writing of drama plays, women | No Comments »

Christine Baskets.

April 2nd, 2017 by Bekah Brunstetter

My absolute favorite woman on TV is actually played by a man and after a few minutes of watching, you don’t even notice anymore.

In Baskets, (Zach Galifianakis’ FX show about the home life of a failed clown) Louie Anderson plays Christine Baskets, a mom whose happy place is Costco, who struggles with both weight and how to raise her kids somewhere between love love and tough love, who tries water aerobics, for her health.

Season two in particular, every moment she’s on screen is so rich and heartbreaking and real that you literally don’t even think about Louie underneath. There is Christine, and only Christine, with a humor so specific it’s like you’re on line with her at Costco while she compliments your hair cut and muses about her childhood and coupons and then asks you about the contents of your shopping cart. There is only Christine and her draped blazers and her hats, and her tugging on her hair around it.  

Posted in DRESSES!!!!!!!!!!!!, a lot, famous people stuff, women | No Comments »

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