bekah brunstetter
Bekah Brunstetter I care deeply. About a lot of things. Like really, really deep. Ow
playwright in brooklyn, NY

bekah longbutt

December 1st, 2017 by Bekah Brunstetter

While some girls butts are like little festive cupcakes on bakery counters, short like catch phrases, mine is like a run on sentence or maybe like a floor pillow that can hold multiple people.  Fortunately, there are Products designed for this. Not only did I get us a toilet with an ‘elongated seat’ for our new bathroom, I now have acquired jeans with a ‘a ten inch rise’ which is overpriced denim speak for ‘jeans that can hang with your long, long butt as it searches for the end to its thought, as it extends past time zones and ankles.’   *Note: pictured jeans are about 1/10th the size of my actual jeans on my actual butt. And also whatever you do, do not do a google image search for long butts.

Posted in what I'm wearing, whining, women, words | No Comments »

french women don’t get fat (?)

November 26th, 2017 by Bekah Brunstetter

I found this book on the floor of Mack’s car, and like most things found in friend’s cars I decided to MAKE IT MINE.  Apparently when she was in high school this was THE diet book, which is to say, when you go to high school in LA, there is more than one diet book. I don’t think diet books were a thing in NC high school, like at all.  It was more like, INTERMITTENTLY CONSUME AS MANY CLOVE CIGARETTES AND WENDY’S FRIED CHICKEN SANDWICHES AS HUMANLY POSSIBLE. But I’m giving this one a read in my adult life. The charming french writer, who also runs Veuve Cliquot Champagne, claims that American women get and stay fat because they eat standing up, exercise manically without intention, and deny themselves their pleasures so aggressively that they end up face deep in a bowl of cake batter. French women, comparably, indulge their pleasures, never over do it, don’t work out, but instead walk and take in the world, eat bread and cheese and wine mindfully. American women talk and think obsessively about weight loss, while French women have more brain space and conversation space to actually engage in ideas OKAY WE GET IT, THE FRENCH, YOU’RE BETTER THAN US. But  as much as I want to deep fry this woman and dip her in ranch as she tells me about her whimsical childhood filled with loose teas and baguettes, I do think there’s value to her theory. A lot. I want more space in my brain. I want mornings gazing out the window and bread with dinner. I want pleasure and pinot noir and tiny pats of butter. JE VEUX ETRE FRANCAIS. Or Frances. I would also settle for just being Frances.

Posted in a lot, food, generally, hmmmmm, whining, women | No Comments »

Rosemary Nuts

November 9th, 2017 by Bekah Brunstetter

Yesterday, I happened upon a jar of Rosemary Nuts, and now I can’t stop wondering who she is. Is she an aspiring stand up comedian who lives in a spare bedroom in North Hollywood with a couple she met on craigslist? Does she only ever eat scrambled eggs?  Is she an amateur astronomer? Is she the only woman left in the world who cuts coupons out of the Sunday paper? Does she have a past checkered with parking violations and sinus infections? DOES SHE MAKE HER OWN PUPPETS? IS SHE MY HALLOWEEN COSTUME NEXT YEAR? OH  WHO CARES WHAT SHE IS SHE’S DELICIOUS

Posted in a lot, hmmmmm, women, words | No Comments »

detox tea, or how I met my intestines

November 5th, 2017 by Bekah Brunstetter

I am truly ashamed that I had to learn this the hard way, but turns out, the skinny people on instagram are simply HOLDING the cleansing teas, and probably not actually using them. I tried a detox tea friday night, and what followed, and what continues to follow, is ME GREETING EVERYTHING I HAVE EVER CONSUMED OVER THE LAST EIGHT YEARS OF MY LIFE, NOT JUST FOOD BUT ALSO FEELINGS AND IDEAS,  AS THEY EXIT ALL PARTS OF MY BODY. Last night it left me vulnerable, weak,  sobbing at a Huggie’s Newborn commercial. While I’d love to report that I woke up today with a Bikini Body, I mostly woke up today with hot rocks somehow buried deep in my back, and a regret so steeped in self consciousness I might have to do another cleanse just to get rid of it JK NEVER CLEANSE AGAIN

Posted in ....ew, a lot, whining, women | No Comments »

prom / prom

October 27th, 2017 by Bekah Brunstetter

Today, on sacred things found while packing:

What I was probably supposed to look like at my senior prom:

What I actually looked like:

Posted in DRESSES!!!!!!!!!!!!, YAY, awesome, memories, what I'm wearing, whining, women | No Comments »

Camera Ready Playwright

October 25th, 2017 by Bekah Brunstetter

Asking a playwright to show up for a photo shoot camera ready is like asking a model to show up to a photoshoot with a  journal full of profound haiku and short plays, which is to say, OF COURSE SOME MODELS ALSO WRITE POETRY AND OF COURSE SOME PLAYWRIGHTS KNOW HOW TO MAKE THEMSELVES ATTRACTIVE / LET’S NOT PUT PEOPLE IN BOXES, but personally, I do NOT know how to contour my face or find my light, so I will be showing up like the conventional playwright, which is to say, camera AFRAID.

Posted in YAY, a lot, the writing of drama plays, theater, whining, women | No Comments »

INSPO

October 7th, 2017 by Bekah Brunstetter

Family wedding Hair and makeup people: please bring inspiration pictures to the appointment so that we might guide you to your best look.

Me:

Hair and Makeup people: Is this serious, or a joke?

Me: WHAT IS ‘SERIOUS?’ WHAT IS ‘JOKE?’ NOW PLEASE, MAKE ME LOOK THE MOST BEAUTIFUL WOMAN IN THE WORLD WITHOUT TOUCHING ME

Result:

Posted in YAY, a lot, i am lucky, i am scared, whining, women | No Comments »

A.D. 16!

October 6th, 2017 by Bekah Brunstetter

WHAT: AN R&B MUSICAL ABOUT TEENAGE MARY MAGDALENE FALLING FOR TEENAGE JESUS; A PLACE FOR ME TO FINALLY PUT ALL OF MY RANDOM JESUS KNOWLEDGE AND THOUGHTS

WHO: BOOK BY MYSELF, MUSIC AND LYRICS CINCO PAUL (SECRET LIFE OF PETS, DESPICABLE ME); AND ALSO, YOU KNOW, MARY, JESUS AND A CHORUS OF LEPERS

WHEN: OCT 16 2017

WHERE: JOE’S PUB, NYC

TICKETS: HERE

Posted in YAY, the future, the writing of drama plays, theater, women, words | No Comments »

FACIAL DYSMORPHIA

October 4th, 2017 by Bekah Brunstetter

Me watching myself on the This is Us aftershow last night: OH COOL! HOLLYWOOD REALLY IS CELEBRATING DIVERSITY! THEY’RE LETTING ACTUAL HUMAN FEET WITH WIGS WRITE EPISODES OF TV NOW!

The internet watching myself on the This is Us aftershow last night:

Posted in YAY, kids, narcissism, whining, women | No Comments »

the Fullest of Circles

September 30th, 2017 by Bekah Brunstetter

It is maybe a TINY BIT NERVE WRACKING to return to your college town / college theater where you wrote your first play to watch a play that you wrote about the icky locked corners of your morality and consciousness, and by tiny bit, I mean  Chapel Hill now has four less bottles of white wine, and I actually almost leapt out of the car on the drive there.  BUT, swell news: not only is the Playmaker’s production of The Cake beautiful and a thing to be proud of,  I got to see it sandwiched between my sisters:

I met these two in the  drama department some 15 years ago, Blaine with her backless tank tops and Camino Real monologues, Carrie with her glorious singing voice and princess hair. Playwrights: a play SHOULD feel personal, to the point of burning self consciousness, but to protect yourself from those feelings while you watch your work, I highly recommend zipping yourself up in a sleeping bag of old friends, and watching from that safe place.

Posted in YAY, a lot, i am lucky, the writing of drama plays, theater, what my friends are doing, where i want to live, women | No Comments »

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