bekah brunstetter
Bekah Brunstetter I care deeply. About a lot of things. Like really, really deep. Ow
playwright in brooklyn, NY

Je Jew!

July 21st, 2017 by Bekah Brunstetter

For my 35th birthday, I gifted myself with a 23 and me kit. Basically you spit into a vial and give the vial to the mailman and a month later they email you and tell you who you are. I am proud to announce that Je 23.5% Ashkenazi Jew. My whole adult life I have called myself a quarter Jewish, since my grandma was Jewish, and because Math,  but maybe I was just sort of clinging  to the idea, as it connected to me some profound past that I longed for. But today, IT IS ACTUALLY TRUE. Based strictly on google image search of the words, I can only assume that this beautiful woman is my great great great grandmother:

As for the other 76.5 percent, it’s mostly mall parking lots, triscuits and hair ties but DON’T WORRY ABOUT IT.

Posted in I'M SO EXCITED, YAY, a lot, history, hmmmmm, horn tooting, how interesting, i am a grown up, i am lucky, i have peace, life, women | No Comments »

formerly fat career girl

July 12th, 2017 by Bekah Brunstetter

Sometimes my own thought processes horrify me. Yesterday the New York Times ran an  article about me, which I honestly have been secretly dreaming about FOR YEARS. My first thoughts once I saw that it was posted: Do I look fat? How fat do I look? Do I look slightly more fat than I was ten minutes or ten years ago? Is everyone going to see that I’ve gained fifteen pounds since last year? ONLY AFTER THESE INCONSEQUENTIAL QUESTIONS AND THOUGHTS, did I then read the article, which is a lovely article in which I managed to represent what I believe in, what troubles me, what goes on in my BRAIN, by which I mean, the thing floating inside of the container that is my body, that is arguably, and INCONSEQUENTIALLY, bigger at some points than it is at others.

Posted in YAY, a lot, i am lucky, the writing of drama plays, things that I Have, wanting, what I'm wearing, whining, women, worrying | No Comments »

lip colored lips

July 10th, 2017 by Bekah Brunstetter

I just realized that I paid a decent amount of actual human money for lip stuff that is actual just the color of my lips.

Are my colors fading? Am I an old shirt? Is this getting older? Is getting older purchasing things that make you look not like a better version of yourself, but just like you actually should?

Posted in YAY, ha, hmmmmm, things that I Have, whining, women | No Comments »

why to thank Jay-Z

July 8th, 2017 by Bekah Brunstetter

Sometimes it’s like, oh no, I will never be physically flawless, and I must because that is the answer, ISN’T THAT THE ANSWER? But then I remember that JAY-Z CHEATED ON BEYONCE. This was his person, and he said no thanks, I’ll have another!

So basically physical beauty will get you NOWHERE EXCEPT OF COURSE FOR MILLIONS OF DOLLARS AND YOUR OWN LINE OF FITNESS WEAR AND PEOPLE WHO ACTUALLY WORSHIP YOU AMERICAN GODS STYLE.

Posted in YAY, famous people stuff, fancy, whining, women, worrying | No Comments »

women of cake

July 3rd, 2017 by Bekah Brunstetter

My friend took these pictures at the curtain call after opening night. They make me so happy. A play written by a woman, directed by a woman, starring three very wonderful women, about women,

All of whom are currently very grateful, exhausted and very full of cake.

Posted in YAY, a lot, food, generally, i am lucky, love, the writing of drama plays, theater, women | No Comments »

PLEDGE.

July 2nd, 2017 by Bekah Brunstetter

I was apparently feeling very patriotic yesterday.  In not one or not even two but in fact MULTIPLE PICTURES from the Cake’s opening night (WHICH WENT GREAT!)  I’m doing a weird pledge allegiance to the flag hand thing:

And so, a Pledge:

I pledge allegiance

to my hair

and also to my face

and to Rent the Runway

and to women everywhere

for all of the time we spend trying to look like the best version of ourselves so that someone might take a picture of us and we might look at that picture and feel, that is me, I look great, but then what really happens is we force our husbands or friends to take our picture as we walk towards them and they  begrudge us but we make a weird stiff face because we know it’s happening

WITH HAIRSPRAY AN BOBBY PINS AND ALSO PROBABLY SOME JUSTICE FOR ALL

Posted in YAY, ha, horn tooting, how interesting, i am a grown up, i am lucky, what I'm wearing, women, worrying | No Comments »

nonpost

June 1st, 2017 by Bekah Brunstetter

I do not engage in mindless and narcissistic social pacts such as ‘Throwback Thursday,’ but here is a picture of myself that just so happens to be from the past clearly posing in front of a house that is actually made of mirrors so that it might reflect my own self back to me 100 times.

Posted in YAY, narcissism, vacay's, whining, women | No Comments »

EYE’M MAD

May 25th, 2017 by Bekah Brunstetter

DEAR WOMEN WHO CAN SEE:

DON’T WEAR GLASSES THAT YOU DON’T ACTUALLY NEED TO SEE JUST BECAUSE THEY LOOK COOL. IT IS INSULTING TO PEOPLE WHO ACTUALLY NEED GLASSES, LIKE TO SEE, WHICH IS THE POINT OF GLASSES. IT’S LIKE DECIDING TO ROCK A WHEELCHAIR EVEN THOUGH YOU DON’T NEED IT TO WALK JUST BECAUSE IT MATCHES YOUR NEW FUN HIGH TOPS. VISUAL IMPAIRMENT IS AN ACTUAL THING.

SINCERELY,

OTHERWISE COMPLETELY ABLE BODIED PERSON WITH BAD EYES

Posted in what I'm wearing, what i am NOT wearing, whining, women, words | No Comments »

oh, honey

May 20th, 2017 by Bekah Brunstetter

As I get older, I become more and more aware of things like time, consequences,  and all of the stuff from the grocery store that I am supposed to put on my face so as to keep my skin looking young. Apparently one of these things is honey, and also greek yogurt, so just basically you put your breakfast on your face and then just let it slide off into your lap and then you know, just go from there. The best part of imagining putting honey all over my face is the fact that IT’S BEE VOMIT, which I always forget. Please, every time you drip it into your tea / rub it on your face / gently lather it over just toast, REMEMBER THAT IT’S PUKE.

Posted in YAY, a lot, how interesting, i am a grown up, wanting, women | No Comments »

the capsule wardrobe

May 18th, 2017 by Bekah Brunstetter

Yesterday, I capsuled my wardrobe, which is a thing that women are now doing to their clothes. Women with arguably excess income (me) tend to sometimes (everyday) fill some unnamable void they feel with a new clothing item that they will probably never wear, or only wear once and feel dissatisfied because, in fact, sweaters do not solve larger existential problems, unless it’s a really good cashmere. Not only is the underlying emotional issue behind the purchase not addressed, it is a horrible waste of money and time that gives me great anxiety when I really think about it. Enter the capsule wardrobe, in which you basically get rid of most of your clothes and limit yourself to about 40 items that you really love to wear, that are made well, or madewell, that you feel good while wearing, and you just wear those things, which is to say, HOW MEN ALREADY TREAT THEIR CLOTHES. Getting rid of stuff felt liberating, empowering, and definitely only happened immediately after I dropped 200 bucks on new clothes that I decided were the only clothes I ever needed to wear. I AM FREE!

Posted in YAY, a lot, wanting, what I'm wearing, what i am NOT wearing, what my friends are doing, women, worrying | No Comments »

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