bekah brunstetter
Bekah Brunstetter I care deeply. About a lot of things. Like really, really deep. Ow
playwright in brooklyn, NY

promises, promises

June 18th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

I go to spin class for exercise, for mental health etc etc etc, but mostly to collect pieces of found dialogue, like this gem:

GIRL BEFORE SPINNING CLASS, TO HER FRIEND, SO SERIOUSLY: I have to tell you something.

Friend: ….Okay? Are you okay?

Girl: Yeah, um. I just, um. I’m not drinking right now.

Friend: Okay…?

Girl: I’ve been scared to tell you. But yeah. I’m not drinking.

Friend: Okay!

Girl: I mean, I might have a drink tonight.

Friend:…Okay…?

GIRL: But I’m not drinking right now.

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mauve over, jeans!

June 8th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

Shout out to these mauve Uni-qlo pants made from something like ant-wrinkle anti-stain astronaut material, that are perfect for early summer in LA, when the temperature at work vacillates from 60 to 90 at any give point. Also shout-out to the frozen blueberry I found in my crotch that did NOT leave a stain. LAST SHOUT OUT TO YOU, READER, FOR NOT JUDGING ME FOR TAKING BLURRY IPHOTO BOOTH PICTURES OF MY PANTS IN MY OFFICE.

Posted in a lot, what I'm wearing, women, YAY | No Comments »

The Roast

May 31st, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

Today is Julien’s birthday, and so some friends in Winston are gathering to Roast her. Hoping to participate remotely,  I tried to come up with a list of solid burns to text her. The result: IT’S SO ANNOYING HOW LOYAL SHE IS and SHE’S THE WORST WITH HOW SHE’S ALWAYS KEEPING UP WITH YOUR LIFE AND CHECKING IN ALL THE TIME and I HATE HOW MUCH SHE SENDS ME A BOX OF MACADAMIA NUT MILK BECAUSE OF THAT TIME I SAID I LIKE MACADAMIAS and HER HAIR IS SO PRETTY AND FLUFFY AND SOMETIMES WHEN YOU WALK BY HER, HER BIG FLUFFY HAIR TOUCHES YOUR FACE and SHE LOVES TO CLIMB ROCKS AND SO SOMETIMES, DAMN HER, YOU END UP IN BEAUTIFUL PLACES ALWAYS CLIMBING ROCKS. BURN! In summation, I just don’t think that roasting friends is my scene. I think I’ll stick to roasting Broccoli and complete strangers wearing pants that don’t fit.

 

Posted in generally, love, what my friends are doing, women, words, YAY | No Comments »

who I actually Am

May 29th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

Lately, especially in the last few years, I’ve been engaged in a fair amount of Fanciness, and so I want to make sure it’s clear to my readers who I actually Am: I am not a woman with many purses. I just have Purse. Purse goes with me everywhere except for the rare occasion in which I need a smaller purse, in which case, I use Small Purse. As for Purse, it is covered in stains from when my water bottle spills inside of it, which happens approximately once a week. At the bottom of Purse, you’ll find a generous handful of almonds that have been crushed over time by the weight of water bottle and computer and script. Handful of crushed Almonds have been known to stay there for up to six months, as Purse only gets cleaned when it gets so bad inside that when I reach inside to get Computer and I pull out a wet handful of receipts dusted with old crushed nuts. Only then do I empty it all out, begin all over again. And that, dear readers, is Myself.

Posted in ....ew, fancy, generally, ha, hmmmmm, things that I Have, whining, women, YAY | No Comments »

Mrs. Elli May

May 28th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

My dear cousin Elli was married yesterday, in a beautiful ceremony featuring vintage cars, all of her eight sisters shaking their butts in unison for eternity and happy, happy tears. This bride began her night on the dance floor and did not leave it for five hours. Like, I’m genuinely not even sure if she went to pee.

Elli is not just any Elli.  Elli is the oldest of eleven children, with eight sisters. Here they all are, shaking what their mother gave them:

And here’s the whole Bray fam / with siblings and spouses:

As her oldest sis Epiphany lovingly put it in her toast, Elli was born to lead and care for others, which  she now does as an FBI AGENT WHICH I TELL PEOPLE AS OFTEN AS HUMANLY POSSIBLE BECAUSE COULD A COUSIN BE MORE HUMBLED BY OR PROUD OF ANOTHER COUSIN? JUDGING MY EXPRESSION HERE, I DOUBT NOT.

Elli’s was the first of their grandchildren’s weddings that our grandparents had to miss, as my Grandpa is too far gone into Alzheimer’s to travel, and my Grandma can’t leave him. But I assisted by cousin Ella, I Facetimed my Grandma into the ceremony so she could sort of be there. And as I watched her face as she watched Elli wed, I was overwhelmed by the years she’s lived, the things she’s seen, the People she’s helped make, by the fact that Elli and I are two of those people, that we are alive at all, that we have not only the present but also our memories, and even if our memories fade, there are the people around us to be living reminders of all that once was, and will Be.

 

Posted in a lot, i am a grown up, love, women, YAY | No Comments »

herstory

May 18th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

Me, the other night:

  • Stands at bar waiting to be served
  • Notices that all of the dudes at the bar are straight up staring at her
  • Marvels at this, assumes that it must be the fact that she curled her hair. At first gets a little angry, like, just because she kinda looks like a Barbie, NOW she gets attention? But also, or mostly, she feels flattered, if not drop dead gorgeous; Muses over what a difference a little self care can make, you just have to —
  • Realizes there is a giant TV playing sports right behind her head

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dîtes-moi

May 17th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

Last night a friend  opened up to me about some life nonsense she was dealing with, like all of it, which was truly a lot. And after, she told me that she hadn’t shared all of this with anyone other than me — but she felt like she could tell me anything, because she knows I won’t judge her, and well, that was one of the best things I’ve ever heard. Maybe sharing this here is braggadocious, but hearing that from her just really moved me. I’m not brave, per se, and I’m not so much strong. I’m anxious and I’m a worrier and I’m conflict averse, I’m easily swayed,  and I never and I do mean NEVER clean out the coffee maker. But:  you can tell me anything. And I will not judge you. I will hold your hand and listen. I will go home and NOT clean out my coffee maker.

Posted in a lot, generally, horn tooting, what my friends are doing, women | No Comments »

I’M OFFRAID

May 5th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

As I’ve previously noted in this space, I like to discover things a year or two after every one has, so that I might burst into a room like, HAVE YOU GUYS TRIED AVOCADO ON TOAST?! IT IS LIT! Only to discover that everyone has been eating avocado toast and calling it Lit for at least five years. Most recently on this list of ‘discoveries:’ I’ve finally started watching the Handmaid’s Tale on Hulu. Honestly when it first came out, I watched the first few, and was unable to casually hang with genital mutilation on a school night. But I kept hearing how incredible it is, and so nevertheless she persisted, and I must say, it is stunning (and disturbing) and brilliant (and nightmare giving.) Now that I’m all caught up, I have to wait FIVE DAYS to see what will happen to dear Offred next. I’M SO OFFRAID FOR HER / AM I FIRST ONE TO SAY THIS? NO? WE’VE ALL BEEN SAYING THIS FOR TWO YEARS? WELL, HERE WE ARE AGAIN.

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Posted in the future, TV, women, words, worrying | No Comments »

the Big Questions

April 30th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

God bless Julien for keeping every note we wrote to each other in high school, even though some of them reflect a rift between us that neither of us can fully recall or explain. Mostly it seems that I rambled to her about my low self-esteem, how embarrassing it was to try and pass the push up test in gym, then asked her important life questions, just as I strive to do in my adult life.

How many cups of sugar does it take to get to the moon?

What kind of jeans does mustard wear?

What kind of cat goes best with pasta?

Do pickles go to the bathroom?

Whatever.

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Posted in awesome, ha, i am a grown up, whining, women, YAY | No Comments »

this young fellow

April 27th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

Yesterday someone decided to post their old headshot and then natch, everyone started do it, and though Morrison does NOT like to engage in Things that Everyone are Doing on the Internet, he decided to make an exception, because THIS:

Look at this sharp and pensive soul! BACK OFF, WOMEN OF 2009. BACK TO YOUR JEAN SHORTS OVER TIGHTS. HE’S MINE. HE JUST DOESN’T KNOW IT YET.

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Posted in i am lucky, what i am NOT wearing, what I'm wearing, women | No Comments »

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