When you are born to your parents, you are helpless and small and cute. Then, tragically, you grow up into just another jerk with a blog, and suddenly, THEY are the cute ones. Namely mine. They’re becoming grandparents for the first time next month, so they went on one last hurrah (though surely there will be plenty more hurrahs) up to Vermont to snow-shoe and snow-mobile and other snow verbs that are NOT SKIING AS THEY ARE SOON TO BE GRANDPARENTS. And basically the pictures reveal that it has been the cutest thing. As they are not huge picture posters, it is up to me, the jerk with the blog, to share with the world. PRESENTING, CUTE!
I spent most of yesterday grinning like an overjoyed idiot. It was one of the best days in recent memory, and lets remember that I have both BEEN MARRIED AND BEEN ON A HONEYMOON AND ALSO TO GOLDEN GLOBES recently, so that’s saying a whole lot. (Also, obviously, all of those things were also pretty great.) First, I got to meet and hold my brand new perfect beautiful niece Ruby, and be her mattress for a while:
And also spend some time hanging with Blaine and Jason, learning the bitter truth about what happens to ones lady parts when one gives birth, which in its own way, was quite joyous, as nobody describes crazy things better than Blaine Barbee. As if that wasn’t enough, I then hit the road with Julien to Kinston, NC, and dined at Chef and the Farmer, Chef Vivian Howard’s farm to table restaurant that I have been clinically obsessed with for months:
We stuffed ourselves silly with grits and turnip greens and collards and pork rinds and country ham and dirty peanut rice and guinea pot pie and rutabagas and apple moonshine cocktails and other things I can’t remember, as we ordered EIGHT THINGS. PS JULIEN ALSO BROKE HER FACE.
SEEKING TWO FACE CASTS / PLS CONTACT WITH DETAILS.
In what Blaine aptly described as the ‘ultimate act of protest,’ she gave birth yesterday this fierce little lady, Ruby Rose Lee:
or as I like to call her, MY NEW FAVORITE PERSON IN THE ENTIRE WORLD. I cannot wait to see all that she becomes. Congrats to Blaine and Jason on their person-making. Stellar work, y’all.
Sister Anne got us a gift certificate to Framebridge as a wedding present, and I must say, never driving to a frame store ever again. While in the past I’ve spent hundreds of dollars framing things because it seems to be what grown up humans do, with Framebridge, for a mere 100 bucks, I got this beauty framed AND shipped to me. What’s more, for no extra charge, an ACTUAL HUMAN DESIGNER PERSON looks at your picture and recommends a frame for you in the forest of choices. NEVER GET IN YOUR CAR OR TALK TO ANYONE AGAIN! HERE’S TO ROBOT PEOPLE WITH FRAMED PORTRAITS IN THEIR STEEL AND LED LIGHT HOUSES! (Sidetone, re: robots, were they ever to revolt, The Foster-Keddies and Brunstetters combined could clearly take them.)
There are seriously not enough Thursdays in the world to Throwback to when it comes to our honeymoon, especially our time in Thailand. I just want to crawl back inside of its moments, float inside of them, gaze off into nothing.
While these beautiful people did not necessarily win the golden prize:
Fun was, in fact, had by all, writers included. We got to gussy up:
And stumble around the giant mall slash famous people prom,
In a beautiful evening that Morrison Keddie, love of my life for his honesty and instantaneous handsomeness, described as ’85% annoying.’
One of my favorite things about Thailand was Gae, our guide for the bike tour / cave hike. We’d been in Thailand for about four days at that point, and all the Thai people we encountered spoke little to no English. Enter Gae, married to an American, nearly fluent in English, with a LIMITLESS AND INFECTIOUS ENERGY, SOMEHOW NEVER SWEATY, and lastly, with a deep love of selfies:
I was able to ask her all the questions that had been accumulating in my mind about everything from Thailand’s monks to the Burmese people to how Shrimp happen. In turn, she kept taking pictures of us like we were famous people. HEY LOVE BIRDS! GO OVER THERE! SIT THERE, IN LOVE! She’d say, and point her phone at us. LIGHTS! CAMERA! ACTION!
Once satisfied: OKAY, WE GOT IT!
There’s a thing going around instagram, Best 9, in which people post a grid of their best nine pictures from 2016, summing up a year in their lives. Whenever everyone is doing something it kind of makes me not want to do it, as I am no sheep, by which I mean BAAAAAAAA I’LL JUST DO IT HERE INSTEAD but with 24 pictures because I LIVE MY OWN LIFE (IN GRIDS.) And so with no further ado, it has been a magnificent year! I:
Ate that chicken pot pie in a blizzard, wrote for American Gods, had a beautiful production of my Heaven play at South Coast Rep, found the perfect overalls and wore them approximately 170 times, washed them about 3 times, took a surfing lesson with Elizabeth, had a Dewey’s pink lemonade cake to call my own at my Easter pot luck thanks to my Mom, ran a 5K with a little girl Monet who ate gummy savers the whole way thanks to Blaine, celebrated 2 years with Mo at Red Lobster, patroned Ru Paul’s drag con, got after that no speaking above a whisper resort life in Joshua Tree, spent some time writing at Space on Ryder farm in upstate New York, went to Carrie’s Beyonce themed beybe shower (then later welcomed and met her dear little Sebastian who I am now calling Bash / 2017 let’s see if we can get that going), and then also:
Had the most perfect of bridal showers complete with hats and tiny sandwiches, spun for 3 hours in YAS-a-thon for cancer research, made Ina Garten’s flag cake, welcomed little nephew Mojo, worked on The Cake at the Alliance, Echo and Ojai, did Vegas so hard bachelorette style, tried on a bunch of white dresses / picked one had a bunch dress fittings / obsessed over its details and its accessories namely did I ever mentioned that Ferris Bueller cropped leather coat? / GOT MARRIED / cast my vote for a woman president for the first time, attended Blaine and Jason’s non baby shower baby shower, read Vivian Howard’s incredible cookbook, and started writing for This is Us. And so, a great many things.
Last week I started to have dreams that I was left out of something creative, being mocked for output or performance. Personal favorite: I dreamt I had to play a drunk dog onstage and the reviews were terrible (this dream brought to you by the first night in Hong Kong, surrounded by every stimulus possible.) I think the dreams stem from a feeling that I haven’t accomplished enough creatively this year, like I haven’t dug enough into my own heart / brain. I’ve been working, yes, but I feel, in general, sort of uninspired, like the questioning part of my brain has been numbed. It’s most likely because the majority of all extra time and emotional brainspace I had went to wedding planning. And so, I will forgive myself, hope that 2017 brings characters / moments / stories / questions, big new ideas, but ALSO, more cakes / adult onesies / trips / love, FOR BALANCE.
Posted in MAWWAGE., TV, YAY, a lot, life, love, memories, oh nooo, optimism, silly, the future, the whole world, the writing of drama plays, theater, things, things that I Have, tout, trying too hard, what I'm wearing, whining, words, working, worrying | No Comments »
LET’S JUST SAY COMPLETELY HYPOTHETICAL FOR EXAMPLE THAT YOU’RE GOING ON YOUR HONEYMOON WHICH ONLY HAPPENS ONCE IN YOUR LIFE AND YOU PLANNED IT MONTHS AGO AND NOW SUDDENLY TIME HAS MOVED AND YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO LEAVE TONIGHT. And maybe you just realized a few weeks ago that your destination of choice, Bali, is in fact enduring its ‘wet season’ during your visit month of choice, and then maybe you look at the forecast seconds before you leave and discover that it’s basically going to look like this the entire time:
And you feel dumb. You also feel disappointed. BUT ALSO YOU FEEL RESOURCEFUL. Also you know how to use the internet. Also you have a husband who is patient and less neurotic, and also you’ve been paid handsomely for your work, as of late. WHY BE PAID HANDSOMELY, IF AT ALL, IF YOU DON’T EVERY NOW AND THEN, LIGHT A LITTLE BIT OF IT ON FIRE TO LAST MINUTE CHANGE YOUR TRIP TO THIS INSTEAD?
PS, we’re off to Hua Hin, Thailand, instead, BECAUSE B.
Posted in I hate money, MAWWAGE., YAY, a lot, ha, hmmmmm, holidays, how interesting, i am lucky, i am scared, i have peace, love, silly, the future, the whole world, whining, working, worrying | No Comments »