bekah brunstetter
Bekah Brunstetter I care deeply. About a lot of things. Like really, really deep. Ow
playwright in brooklyn, NY

how to dance with (near) your parents

November 3rd, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

Going through tiny baby brother Tim’s recently released wedding pictures, and I’d just like to leave these here, as a helpful guide, for the next time you’re at a wedding with your parents, and just aren’t sure what to do with your body / face:

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pro marriage trick

November 1st, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

Me: I feel like I look like I’ve gained weight, but I haven’t.

Morrison:…what?

Me: I mean, I haven’t recently. But I LOOK like I have.

Morrison: You’re right.

Me: What?

Morrison: I’ve been looking at you and thinking, she hasn’t gained weight, but she’s got the definite LOOK of having gained weight, even though she has gained no weight.

Me: That sounds insane.

Morrison: EXACTLY

Posted in a lot, how interesting, i am a grown up, i am lucky, love, MAWWAGE., narcissism, whining, women, YAY | No Comments »

why to never drink water at a wedding

October 28th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

Note: Though the below might suggest otherwise, I AM staying hopeful and positive that I will someday ‘become a pregnant person,’ as my doctor calls it. I basically just can no longer keep the worry and hilarity of this life phase off of my blog. I’ve tried to keep it off of here, in fear of being over-dramatic or worse, pessimistic, and also just out of respect for the women who have truly been in the thick of this for nine times the amount of days that I have, with greater heartbreak, BUT I MEAN WHY EVEN ELSE HAVE A BLOG / THIS IS LITERALLY WHAT BLOGS ARE FOR / NOW YOU GET TO WORRY ABOUT MY FERTILITY TOO / YOU’RE WELCOME! 

At a friend’s wedding, I decide to switch to water, like just for a minute, because Hydration and Headache. Very nice well-intentioned other friend spots me with said glass of water, and I don’t know, maybe a poorly positioned wrap dress? Perhaps a face swollen from baking my feelings and eating them?  I don’t know. Her eyes light up like Christmas but with a secret, and she rushes to my side.

Friend (furtively:) Are you pregnant?

Me: What? NO. No no no no no no no no (then, approximately 100 more No’s) 

Friend: Oh — God, sorry — I’m so sorry, I just thought —

Me: It’s fine. It’s totally fine. Are you pregnant?

Friend: Um — I don’t think so?

Me: I only ask because recently, it has come to attention that I am the only female person in the entire world and on the entire internet that is not pregnant.  Everyone I went to high school and college with, and their bosses and neighbors and friends, and the people who sell them their groceries and their cars, everyone I’ve ever emailed or envied is pregnant.  Even the moments I’m not pregnant are pregnant with all of the pregnancies I’m not pregnant with.

(A moment.)

Friend: Oh my God. You’re right. I think I’m pregnant. That’s so weird, I wasn’t even trying!

Me: SEE? YOU SEE?!

Friend: Oh God, can I get you some wine?

Me: YES PLZ TEN BUCKETS, AND WITH GREAT HASTE

 

Posted in a lot, babies, generally, ha, hmmmmm, how interesting, i am a grown up, i am lucky, i am scared, life, love, MAWWAGE., oh nooo, the future, tout, trying too hard, whining, women, words, worrying, YAY | No Comments »

Always Real

October 22nd, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

Two years of marriage today. One of the things that first jarred me about my dear husband when I first met him has more and more become my absolute favorite thing about him: he will not force anything. Like, ever at all. And so, every single moment you get with and from him is 100% authentic, truly felt. It’s not always perfectly timed, which is a thing I like to force — but it’s Always Real. Take last night, when we were having a drink before our final performance of the Cake:

Him (after a long silence:) I had a thought earlier about working together, on this play. Like a profound thought.

Me: Oh yeah?

Him: Yeah, but I can’t remember it.

Me: That’s okay —

Him:….(most beautiful, kind thing about working together on the play)

Me: (stunned silence)

Him:……just pretend I said that tomorrow, on our anniversary.

Me: OKAY FINE. LOVE YOU SO MUCH

Him: Man. These are great fish tacos.

Me: OH, WE’RE MOVING ON? OKAY

 

Posted in a lot, boys, how interesting, i am lucky, love, MAWWAGE. | No Comments »

Happy Birthday to my Person.

September 28th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

Hobbies include:

  • Purchasing and Wearing Fun Shirts
  • Over-tipping servers, just for kindess’s sake
  • Consuming just ONE too many Old Fashioneds
  • jovially flipping off the well-tipped waiter, then saying shhhhhhhh to his entree
  • Being my favorite person

Posted in a lot, boys, love, MAWWAGE. | No Comments »

how to wear your Cat as a Necklace

September 3rd, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

i.e., NOT Labor Day

Posted in a lot, i am lucky, love, MAWWAGE., where i want to live, YAY | No Comments »

where to Look when your brother Weds

August 5th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

My Tiny baby brother Tim got married on Friday, to a  gorgeous, grounded and kind cardiac nurse — and by kind nurse, I mean she left her rehearsal dinner to escort a family member who was having a heart event* to the ER (*what playwrights call bad heart things.)  I don’t know what I was expecting, watching my youngest brother, who I shared a room with for years, who I think the largest world of, who I think has the the tenderest of hearts and sharpest of wits though he never presents with either — marry the girl he loves — but basically every time I caught him looking at her with any sort of love, the kind of of love that shuts out the world and the wedding and all expectations and even the past, I sobbed through my eyelash glue for 17 seconds.

I didn’t have to do a toast, but obviously, Dan and Pete toasted Tim. The toasts were beautiful, laced with emotional restraint and military humor and humble admissions of what it feels like to look up to your younger brother, and obviously, I sat as close to all of them as humanly possible while these toasts were happening, like I’m basically sitting on Sarah’s lap. Another obviously: I took a million pictures because it’s rare to see my three brothers together, feeling something. Traveling back to LA last night, I looked at each of these pictures, trying to find the best one(s) so that I might delete some… but really, each one I took is essential. While they all look basically the same, each captures a tiny feeling felt by a brother, warm stabs otherwise covered.

PETE LOOKS AT FLOOR SO AS TO NOT MAKE EYE CONTACT:

TIM DRINKS BEER SO AS TO NOT FEEL

DAN LOOKS AT CELING SO AS TO NOT SOB

DAN DOES STAND UP WORTHY OF LATE NIGHT TELEVISION, TIM’S LUNGS LEAK TEARS

DAN’S TOAST GETS PHYSICAL, TIM THINKS ABOUT BEATING HIM UP LATER, PETE FOCUSES ON CHANDELIER SO AS TO NOT HUG TIM

Posted in a lot, boys, brothers, family, i am lucky, life, love, MAWWAGE. | No Comments »

MODERN WIFE

July 28th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

  • Wakes up
  • Works out
  • Does some work
  • Goes to work
  • Does more work
  • Leaves work, gets in car
  • FRANTICALLY COVERS SELF WITH PERFUME SO THAT HUSBAND WILL THINK SHE SMELLS LIKE TINY DELICATE FLOWER WHEN SHE GETS HOME
  • Gets home, kisses husband
  • collapses on top of work, BUT SMELLS GREAT

Posted in a lot, ha, i am lucky, love, MAWWAGE., whining, women, YAY | No Comments »

40 years

July 1st, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

My parents got hitched forty years ago today. Not only have they remarkably stayed married the entire time, they have stayed kind, patient, loving, committed, and have only lit each other on fire ONCE. In honor of their love, here is a short but working list of marriage advice that I have learned by their example:

  • If your spouse really wants to eat a block of cheddar cheese and that sausage that comes in those gift baskets at Christmas time, just let them do it.
  • When the time comes that the spouse is of a certain age, and it is no longer good for the spouse to eat an entire block of cheddar cheese and that sausage that comes in gift baskets at Christmas, gently tell the spouse that maybe they should consider an alternative snack; spends hours slicing carrots and celery and googling low carb ranch dressing until you find things that your spouse might like to snack on, instead
  • when your spouse comes at you about your snack habits and you’ve had a long day at work and you JUST WOULD LIKE SOME CRACKERS AND CHEESE, take a deep breath, remember that she only wishes for you to be in the world as long as humanly possible
  • In the spirit of a lifelong quest to surprise and make each other happy, Acquire a puppy
  • Don’t be mad at each other when one decides that the puppy is too much to care for at this point in their life and wants to return said puppy, but instead, be patient when RETURNING THAT PUPPY
  • Be totally mellow and cool when your spouse gets a motorcycle and wants to ride around with you on it so he purchases for you a full body leather motorcycle riding outfit
  • try it on, ONCE
  • Say nothing but smile behind your eyes when gradually, he tires of motorcycle, gifts the motorcycle to your son
  • Bring home flowers, just because it’s Tuesday
  • Make fun of each other whenever possible
  • Kiss often
  •  Try not to light each other on fire

Posted in i am lucky, love, MAWWAGE. | No Comments »

the best of Boys

June 10th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

For girls with brothers, I think there is a special place in the heart that explodes when their love and their brother do literally anything together, like laugh together, or stand next to each other, or play a game with each other, or even stand next to each other while playing games. THIS PICTURE / MEMORY NOW LIVES IN THAT CORNER OF MY HEART.

 

Posted in boys, i am lucky, love, MAWWAGE., YAY | No Comments »

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