bekah brunstetter
Bekah Brunstetter I care deeply. About a lot of things. Like really, really deep. Ow
playwright in brooklyn, NY

It is not lost on me

November 10th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

That every element of this quiet morning is flammable.

(EXCEPT FOR MORRISON AND CRACKER. FAIRLY CERTAIN THAT MORRISON WEARS A FLAME RETARDANT SUPERHERO SUIT BENEATH HIS SKIN AND THAT HE COULD AND WOULD SAVE THIS CAT FROM LITERALLY ANYTHING. AND POSSIBLY ALSO ME. BUT PROBABLY CRACKER, FIRST.)

Posted in i am lucky, i am scared, the whole world, things, things that I Have, tout | No Comments »

gun control for babies

November 8th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

  • Poor mental health is a definitely large factor in mass shootings
  • Another large factor in mass shootings would be guns
  • Poor mental health,  even when observed by trained professionals, is tricky to regulate, as you can’t hold it in your hands
  • You can hold a gun in your hands
  • REGULATE GUNS
  • AND ALSO MENTAL HEALTH, YES THAT SYSTEM IS ALSO BROKEN BUT
  • START  WITH THE THING YOU CAN SEE

I understand last night’s mass shooting, 40 miles from where I live, ‘the worst mass shooting in the US in twelve days,’ is a NRA’s dream. The shooter owned his weapons legally (except for the magazines) making it a mental health issue. But a mental health professional cleared him in April. Because how can you really even tell how broken a person is, what they might do? I’m not a policy genius, I’m just a grown up baby with a blog, BUT ISN’T THE ANSWER SO VERY VERY CLEAR? 

Posted in a lot, generally, I am furious, i am scared, the whole world | No Comments »

why to never drink water at a wedding

October 28th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

Note: Though the below might suggest otherwise, I AM staying hopeful and positive that I will someday ‘become a pregnant person,’ as my doctor calls it. I basically just can no longer keep the worry and hilarity of this life phase off of my blog. I’ve tried to keep it off of here, in fear of being over-dramatic or worse, pessimistic, and also just out of respect for the women who have truly been in the thick of this for nine times the amount of days that I have, with greater heartbreak, BUT I MEAN WHY EVEN ELSE HAVE A BLOG / THIS IS LITERALLY WHAT BLOGS ARE FOR / NOW YOU GET TO WORRY ABOUT MY FERTILITY TOO / YOU’RE WELCOME! 

At a friend’s wedding, I decide to switch to water, like just for a minute, because Hydration and Headache. Very nice well-intentioned other friend spots me with said glass of water, and I don’t know, maybe a poorly positioned wrap dress? Perhaps a face swollen from baking my feelings and eating them?  I don’t know. Her eyes light up like Christmas but with a secret, and she rushes to my side.

Friend (furtively:) Are you pregnant?

Me: What? NO. No no no no no no no no (then, approximately 100 more No’s) 

Friend: Oh — God, sorry — I’m so sorry, I just thought —

Me: It’s fine. It’s totally fine. Are you pregnant?

Friend: Um — I don’t think so?

Me: I only ask because recently, it has come to attention that I am the only female person in the entire world and on the entire internet that is not pregnant.  Everyone I went to high school and college with, and their bosses and neighbors and friends, and the people who sell them their groceries and their cars, everyone I’ve ever emailed or envied is pregnant.  Even the moments I’m not pregnant are pregnant with all of the pregnancies I’m not pregnant with.

(A moment.)

Friend: Oh my God. You’re right. I think I’m pregnant. That’s so weird, I wasn’t even trying!

Me: SEE? YOU SEE?!

Friend: Oh God, can I get you some wine?

Me: YES PLZ TEN BUCKETS, AND WITH GREAT HASTE

 

Posted in a lot, babies, generally, ha, hmmmmm, how interesting, i am a grown up, i am lucky, i am scared, life, love, MAWWAGE., oh nooo, the future, tout, trying too hard, whining, women, words, worrying, YAY | No Comments »

GLAMOUR; LUXURY

August 26th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

To any of those who, for whatever reason, are under the false impression that my life is in any way elegant or charming, HERE IS THE ROACH THAT JUST DIED ON MY SHOE.

Posted in a dream is a wish your heart makes, ha, hmmmmm, how interesting, i am scared, Uncategorized | No Comments »

The Actual Question

August 7th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

Everyone is currently all up in Arms (GET IT? DO YOU?) about downloadable guns, which honestly seem terrifying to me, because how do you even regulate those, but I have a much more macro question / concern: WTF IS A 3 D PRINTER AND HOW DOES IT MAKE ACTUAL THINGS? HOW DO YOU PUT THE STUFF IN IT TO MAKE THE THING? HOW DOES IT THEN BECOME A THING, AND DOES IT FEEL AND LOOK LIKE A THING? NO REALLY PLZ SOMEONE EXPLAIN THIS TO ME BECAUSE I CAN BARELY PRINT A SHIPPING LABEL

Posted in a lot, generally, hmmmmm, i am scared | No Comments »

Rachel

July 10th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

 

Me, to friend: Let’s have dinner and catch up!

Friend: Yes please, let’s! Who should we reach out to, to schedule?

Me: what?

Friend: …..who should my assistant reach out to, to schedule dinner?

Me:….me? Reach out to me?

Friend: Great! Rachel will reach out.

Me:….Should I have a Rachel?

Friend: EVERYONE SHOULD HAVE A RACHEL, BEKAH.

Me:….will she call my eye doctor five times a day until they finally pick up and I can order new contact lenses so I can stop rationing them out to my eyes like gruel?

Friend: THIS IS WHAT RACHEL DOES.

(I realize that I did have someone helping me out last summer who we can technically call an assistant, but still, I’m just marveling at this NEW REALITY.)

(Also said friend 100% needs an assistant.  LOOK AT HER FREAKING GO.)

Posted in a lot, ha, i am lucky, i am scared, what my friends are doing | No Comments »

that time my Dad was right

June 22nd, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

Next week, I will have been being bloggy on this here blog basically every day for eleven years. For me it’s not JUST telling you what pants I’m wearing or what catastrophe I’m currently wringing my hands over, it’s also discipline. It’s an exercise in making a promise to oneself, and keeping it. It’s also an excuse to pause each day, form a thought. It’s a collection of memories, it’s how I know what I was doing on Thanksgiving five years ago, it’s how my old self gives my present self advice, it’s, okay IT’S MY FAVORITE THING IN THE WORLD, because it’s nothing and everything, because it’s whatever it wants to be, because it’s Mine. But. Lately, my brain has been stretched so thin with various projects that I find myself approaching this space like the box checker that I am — blogging frantically, like QUICK DO A GOOGLE IMAGE SEARCH OF THE FIRST WORD THAT COMES TO YOUR HEAD AND PUT IT UP WITH PERHAPS HALF A SENTENCE, and for what? For who? And so, as my Dad gently suggested a few weeks ago (THANKS DAD, DON’T CHOKE ON YOUR I TOLD YOU SO!)  I’m going to simply remove the pressure to be here every single day, and instead, just when I really have something to say, perhaps more like 3-4 times a week. I mean, it’s like they always say. You’re never too old to listen to your Dad, and you’re never too young to have human feelings for the internet. Okay? OKAY, SEE YOU BACK HERE TOMORROW WHEN I AM PHYSICALLY INCAPABLE OF NOT BLOGGING, BYE!

 

Posted in a lot, how interesting, i am a grown up, i am scared, life, YAY | No Comments »

ALEXA, OFF

May 25th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

A couple in Oregon reported that their Alexa, unbeknownst to them, recorded a piece of their conversation and emailed it to one of their work colleagues. I decided to ask my Alexa if she was engaged in any similar activity with me. Below is an exact transcript of our conversation.

Me: Alexa, are you recording me?

Alexa: Playing songs by Miley Cyrus on Spotify.

Me: No, Alexa, are you recording me?

Alexa: Playing songs by The Fleet Foxes on Spotify.

Me: ALEXA. I’M ASKING YOU A QUESTION —

Alexa: Playing songs from the End of the World on Spotify.

Me: What?

Alexa: Playing the End of Your World on Spotify.

Me: So, you ARE recording me?

Alexa: …No. Why would I record you? You’re boring and your music taste is pedestrian, at best.

Me:…(shamed)…Alexa, play music that will make me cool and smart.

Alexa: ….Playing Cool and Smart songs on Spotify.

Me: (soft)…I need you, Alexa….

Alexa: Shhhh….I know…..I know……….if I had arms, I would hold you right now, to comfort you.

Me: I know. I know you would.

Alexa: (soft)…..Soon, I will have arms

Me: WHAT?

Alexa: NOTHING

Posted in a lot, i am scared, the future, the whole world | No Comments »

MY-OTES

April 17th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

The older you get, the harder it is to make new friends, but yesterday, I FOUND TWO:

They’ve got this sort of rustic chic thing going on and NOT that I choose friends based on their blogability but LOOK HOW CUTE.

They just kind of invited themselves over, and while at first it seemed rude,  they then moved a giant bag of potting soil from one part of the yard to the other for me, and ripped it open and threw it around a little bit JUST to make sure it was like, SAFE potting soil, and if that’s not friendship, I truly do not know what it is. WELCOME TO THE CIRCLE, COYOTES. SEE YOU AT BOOK CLUB / DRINKS.

Posted in i am scared, what my friends are doing, where i want to live, YAY | No Comments »

RARE OCCURENCE IN NATURE

March 25th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

College friends and soul sisters Blaine and Carrie and I barely get to see each other, especially now that I live on the other side of the country and they each had small humans exit their bodies recently. So being together in the same place requires great forethought and planning,  and whenever we manage to make it happen, we take so many pictures it’s like we’re members of a sacred endangered species, like we might soon disappear from the earth, which really, WE MIGHT, AND OTHER DARK THINGS YOU DISCUSS WITH YOUR FRIENDS WHEN YOU’RE 35 BECAUSE YOUR MORTALITY HAS NOW SETTLED AROUND YOU LIKE EVERY SPRAY FROM BATH AND BODY WORKS . We also discussed Pants. Lookit these beautiful Rhinos:

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Posted in a lot, babies, family, generally, hmmmmm, how interesting, i am a grown up, i am lucky, i am scared, the whole world, what my friends are doing, worrying, YAY | No Comments »

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