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Bekah: Work on your play!!!

Bekah:…No.

Bekah: DO IT!!!!

Bekah: No! I’m busy!

Bekah: Doing WHAT?!

Bekah: I just – I really need to look at these pictures of micropigs for just a few hours.

Bekah: I want a divorce.

You know that thing that I do, that I have dubbed, ‘blogging from bubble of narcissism,’ which I do all the time? Well! I will continue to do it. I just arrived in Poughkeepsie, campus of Vassar College, to spend two weeks workshopping A Long and happy Life with New York Stage and Film. It is totally perfect, because I actually started the play this time last year in this very place, prompted by some terrorist bomb anxiety that I suddenly felt in Grand Central. (Go There, I dare you, and try and NOT feel it.) And so, I will be diving into this play, clarifying, trying to fix, do a bit of honing in on why I started the play to begin with, this play that has grown into a beast – that i believe in -  as well as playing with my step team / greek chorus (YES) and trying NOT to revert to corporate housing days – and inspect my furnished apartment ( I am in great townhouse thing instead of dorms, and the furnishings are nearly EXACTLY like that of Equity’s. Nightmares, I will have.) That was eleven things, and a lot of commas, and you’re welcome.

This unknown number KEEPS CALLING ME and not leaving a message, and it’s really freaking me out, and I know I should just answer, but the more they call, the more my heart palpitates. It’s most likely an automated thing from my student loans or the IRS? demanding 30 million dollars or I’ll be thrown in jail, or maybe it’s a ghost, or myself from the future. Maybe when they call again, I will answer.

I probably won’t.

Please note, the above picture is an advertisment for  ‘Locate Phone Number,’ a website which allows you to trace calls / numbers back to the caller. Who keeps calling your husband?? Your kids?? The women in the picture have just found out who their husbands are having affairs with. How satisfied they are.

Could someone please explain to me what the heck is going on in China??? In the last month, there have been four separate attacks on preschoolers by middle aged men. Men have been stabbing and attacking these kids with hammers. The latest then lit himself on fire. The 3rd attacker blamed it on recent ‘romantic frustrations.’ The first attacker has already been executed. I don’t understand how you get from ‘romantically frustrated’ to ‘killing kids.’ Something about being EXTREMELY pissed off at their innocence? Their potential? Wanting what you cannot have?? Whatever it is, I certainly hope it STOPS, and soon, and how.

Sisters Blaine and Carrie are encouraging me to train to run this half marathon with them in Vegas in December. (We 3 were last in Vegas in our 19/20′s when we drove there from NC and stayed at the Paris Las Vegas and didn’t get to gamble or anything, and I recall us swimming under an eiffel tower and I recall us getting in a fight about something. What? Tacoes? Gas? Probably.)

And you know what? I think I might do it. The halfie. I’ve been running a bit, like I never thought I could, and it kinda makes me feel like I could do anything. Or at least run a few miles? Or 13????????? I’m going to attempt to stay motivated. All I need is some cadillac-esque running shoes, some weirdly shaped bootie running short things, some better headphones, and a continued sense of optimism.

There Steve and I were at some corner cafe bar thing in Soho, innocently enjoying our overpriced edibles and checking out his new ipad app – when a random guy (either bar patron, or employee?) came up to Steve and told him that he had JUST stopped this other guy from stealing Steve’s laptop!!! It was sitting in his (Jack Spade, mind you) computer bag, right by his foot, and NEITHER OF US NOTICED when a person came by, picked up the bag, and started to put the bag into his own. WHAT? How did that happen? I fortunately have never been robbed here, and am probably much to slack about it – but it was a nice? reminder that people are evil and crazy, and will steal your anything. So you know – watch your back.

MORE IMPORTANTLY, we were pleasantly reminded of Joshua Jackson / Pacey from Dawson’s Creek, because HE WAS THERE. Supremely exciting m, not so much for Steve. We are are 67% sure that it was NOT Pacey from Dawson’s creek who tried to steal Steve’s computer. How could he? I mean, look at this puddum.

I only have 7 days left of my job, and two things are happening: one: the days are going by SO. SLOW. Two: I am getting really nervous. I want to be excited, and I AM, but it’s just hard to walk away from a great job, from the best co-workers EVER, from security, from Health Insurance. I know that I’m doing the write thing, and how my summer is filling up with deadlines and the like, I really don’t know how I would have managed both. But, my worst fear is that 6 months down the line I’ll need a job again and will end up stuffing gift bags and a Bridal Magazine party for ten dollars an hour or wearing a rented tux and opening doors. True Stories.

Oh well, here’s to a leap of faith, and to the Future!!

fyi, that lamb is taking a Leap of Faith. It’s a metaphor, okay? Is there a massive, angry river below him? Or a hungry dinosaur? Or: is it soft, pleasant Grass?

Hello! I  have many emotions and am oftentimes morbid.

In a single 45 minute commute, one can be bombarded with a slew of unsettling news items in the AM New York Paper. It is nearly too much to digest so early in the morning, but there’s something about the thought of NOT reading it that makes you feel weirdly ill-prepared to face the day. This morning, 2 bits of linked news: A.) Zazi pleading guilty, and confessing to, yes, plotting to blow up NYC trains – his reasoning? To sacrifice his own life to bring attention to the deaths of innocent civillians in Afghanistan. Next piece of news: General apologizing for the accidental deaths of nearly thirty Afghan civilians. Ugh. Something that certainly won’t bode well with the terrorists. I try not to spend too much time worrying about whether my commute will end in blood / tears, but on days like this, I really just can’t help it, and should probably turn this angst into a poorly written play. With dancing bombs.

And fire gobo’s.

 Please, let it never be said that I am not a warrior; a daredevil. For I went snow-shoeing.

Hunter mountain was packed with extreme sport-ers, jetting down risky slopes named after skiiers who were killed on them. And while they looked judgingly at our weird foot-pieces, as they yelled ‘WRONG WAY!’ as we went DOWN the ski lift,  I am sure they were really just jealous of the peace, tranquilty and non-death we found on our snow-shoe trails.

Hi, it’s me, Caring Deeply and taking it there since 2007. Sometimes when horrible things happen the event just grabs and squeezes my heart and boggles my mind. Like the devestation from this earthquake is so beyond my realm of comprehension that I can’t even begin to understand it or make sense of it. Like: the people of Haiti?! Seriously? Talk about being kicked when you’re down. Instead, I, or ‘We,’ choose to pay more attention to Conan accusing the network of a breach of a contract. I’m not saying I / we are shallow, horrible people. I think that we just choose to obsess over the pieces of news that affect us directly; that are large and impacting within our immediate world? Because: it’s just too hard to Care Deeply about absolutely everything; things beyond our control. What sort of life would that be? Or is that my selfish excuse? Blergh. In the immediate: You can donate to Unicef to help the relief effort here.