bekah brunstetter
Bekah Brunstetter I care deeply. About a lot of things. Like really, really deep. Ow
playwright in brooklyn, NY

A Gemini Prepares

July 14th, 2019 by Bekah Brunstetter

Next week, I am PITCHING A TV SHOW FOR THE VERY FIRST TIME, driving around town telling various smart and important people about my images and characters and thoughts,  in the hopes of someday getting a show that is Mine on air,  which I means I am full of two very real, very opposing feelings:

Joy at the opportunity and delirious delight in my own ideas, slightly high from the secret pocket feeling that I’m doing the thing I was put on this earth to Do

AND ALSO:

COMPLETE EXISTENTIAL TERROR AND DREAD, TINGED WITH FEELINGS OF INSECURITY AND ALSO GUT-EMPTYING FEAR THAT IT’S ALL BEEN A LIE, THAT I AM IN FACT A LIE, THAT THE ONLY TRUE THING IS GRAVITY

 

Posted in a lot, ha, hmmmmm, how interesting, i am a grown up, i am lucky, i am scared, I write for television?, LA angst | No Comments »

LORD HELP ME

June 10th, 2019 by Bekah Brunstetter

IN AN ATTEMPT TO SOOTHE MY BRAINWHIR, I’VE BECOME A PERSON WHO WRITES PRAYERS AND AFFIRMATIONS (WHICH I’M COMING TO REALIZE ARE THE SAME THING) ON NOTECARDS AND PLACES THEM WHERE I CAN MOST FREQUENTLY SEE THEM

IS THIS A SIGN OF THE END (OR PERHAPS THE BEGINNING)

Posted in a lot, i am lucky, i am scared, i have peace, oh nooo, the future, the making of babies, trying too hard, whining, women, worrying, YAY | No Comments »

I AM HERE (?)

June 6th, 2019 by Bekah Brunstetter

Public Servant opens tonight and sadly I am not there, because I can’t be Everywhere, so I’m across the country wishing it Well.  But I dreamt last night that I WAS there, but I was a hologram, I was a projection from a machine I couldn’t see, I was sitting in the rehearsal room in Pajamas watching the actors prepare, and whenever anyone spoke to me I said I’m so sorry, I’m not really here, and so I’m left to wonder, AM I HERE? AM I TRULY ANYWHERE?

Posted in a lot, hmmmmm, how interesting, i am scared, life, the future, the writing of drama plays, theater | No Comments »

WOE IS NOT YOU

April 29th, 2019 by Bekah Brunstetter

I tend to have way too much empathy for people who perhaps don’t deserve it. In the secret parts of my head, I oftentimes empathize with bigots and murderers and terrorists and people who pee on toilet seats.  But so help me God, I can find NONE EMPATHY for women who are having a hard time conceiving their EIGHT MILLIONTH CHILD, as I so desperately just want ONE. I want to empathize, so bad, as it’s under the same umbrella of sadness that I’ve felt, but even attempting to do so gets me so angry. And so when reading the abyss that is Pregnancy Internet, and I come across a ‘I don’t know what’s wrong with me my other nine children are perfectly healthy and I got pregnant with each of them just by drinking a Beer looking at my husband That Way and NOW I CAN’T SEEM TO HAVE MY NINTH CHILD, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME’ I feel the opposite of empathy, which is Stab (AND YES, PLEASE NOTE THAT I RESERVE THE RIGHT TO ASK FOR YOUR PITY IF AND WHEN I, AT SOME POINT IN THE FUTURE, HAVE TROUBLE CONCEIVING A CHILD WHEN I ALREADY HAVE ONE, AT WHICH POINT YOU CAN RE-DIRECT ME TO THIS POST.)

Posted in a lot, babies, I am furious, i am scared, i have peace, whining, women | No Comments »

A Bird on the Hand

March 22nd, 2019 by Bekah Brunstetter

Yesterday, while surrounded by the comforts of the controlled environment in which I live, I found myself thinking about how rarely I step out of my comfort zone. MAYBE I take risks while writing? PERHAPS? But mostly I tend to make choices that keep me in situations in which unexpected things rarely happen, I have control over the variables of the environment, and I mostly interact with people who are like me. And I thought ,WHY, AS A WRITER, WOULD I EVER LIVE THIS WAY? Which is why, last night, over a controlled and comfortable dinner, Morrison and I signed up for a falconry class, because if A PEREGRINE FALCON (THE WORLD’S FASTEST ANIMAL) LANDING ON YOUR HAND IS NOT THE VERY DEFINITION OF STEPPING OUT OF ONE’S COMFORT ZONE THEN I TRULY DO NOT KNOW WHAT IS BUT YOU GUYS IT’S DEFINITELY NOT EXPERIMENTING WITH NEW WAYS TO EAT SWEET POTATOES OR READING BOOKS THAT SHOUT YOUR OWN BELIEFS BACK AT YOU.

Posted in a lot, ha, hmmmmm, i am lucky, i am scared, the whole world, things that I Have, tout, trying too hard, YAY | No Comments »

It is not lost on me

November 10th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

That every element of this quiet morning is flammable.

(EXCEPT FOR MORRISON AND CRACKER. FAIRLY CERTAIN THAT MORRISON WEARS A FLAME RETARDANT SUPERHERO SUIT BENEATH HIS SKIN AND THAT HE COULD AND WOULD SAVE THIS CAT FROM LITERALLY ANYTHING. AND POSSIBLY ALSO ME. BUT PROBABLY CRACKER, FIRST.)

Posted in i am lucky, i am scared, the whole world, things, things that I Have, tout | No Comments »

gun control for babies

November 8th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

  • Poor mental health is a definitely large factor in mass shootings
  • Another large factor in mass shootings would be guns
  • Poor mental health,  even when observed by trained professionals, is tricky to regulate, as you can’t hold it in your hands
  • You can hold a gun in your hands
  • REGULATE GUNS
  • AND ALSO MENTAL HEALTH, YES THAT SYSTEM IS ALSO BROKEN BUT
  • START  WITH THE THING YOU CAN SEE

I understand last night’s mass shooting, 40 miles from where I live, ‘the worst mass shooting in the US in twelve days,’ is a NRA’s dream. The shooter owned his weapons legally (except for the magazines) making it a mental health issue. But a mental health professional cleared him in April. Because how can you really even tell how broken a person is, what they might do? I’m not a policy genius, I’m just a grown up baby with a blog, BUT ISN’T THE ANSWER SO VERY VERY CLEAR? 

Posted in a lot, generally, I am furious, i am scared, the whole world | No Comments »

why to never drink water at a wedding

October 28th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

Note: Though the below might suggest otherwise, I AM staying hopeful and positive that I will someday ‘become a pregnant person,’ as my doctor calls it. I basically just can no longer keep the worry and hilarity of this life phase off of my blog. I’ve tried to keep it off of here, in fear of being over-dramatic or worse, pessimistic, and also just out of respect for the women who have truly been in the thick of this for nine times the amount of days that I have, with greater heartbreak, BUT I MEAN WHY EVEN ELSE HAVE A BLOG / THIS IS LITERALLY WHAT BLOGS ARE FOR / NOW YOU GET TO WORRY ABOUT MY FERTILITY TOO / YOU’RE WELCOME! 

At a friend’s wedding, I decide to switch to water, like just for a minute, because Hydration and Headache. Very nice well-intentioned other friend spots me with said glass of water, and I don’t know, maybe a poorly positioned wrap dress? Perhaps a face swollen from baking my feelings and eating them?  I don’t know. Her eyes light up like Christmas but with a secret, and she rushes to my side.

Friend (furtively:) Are you pregnant?

Me: What? NO. No no no no no no no no (then, approximately 100 more No’s) 

Friend: Oh — God, sorry — I’m so sorry, I just thought —

Me: It’s fine. It’s totally fine. Are you pregnant?

Friend: Um — I don’t think so?

Me: I only ask because recently, it has come to attention that I am the only female person in the entire world and on the entire internet that is not pregnant.  Everyone I went to high school and college with, and their bosses and neighbors and friends, and the people who sell them their groceries and their cars, everyone I’ve ever emailed or envied is pregnant.  Even the moments I’m not pregnant are pregnant with all of the pregnancies I’m not pregnant with.

(A moment.)

Friend: Oh my God. You’re right. I think I’m pregnant. That’s so weird, I wasn’t even trying!

Me: SEE? YOU SEE?!

Friend: Oh God, can I get you some wine?

Me: YES PLZ TEN BUCKETS, AND WITH GREAT HASTE

 

Posted in a lot, babies, generally, ha, hmmmmm, how interesting, i am a grown up, i am lucky, i am scared, life, love, MAWWAGE., oh nooo, the future, tout, trying too hard, whining, women, words, worrying, YAY | No Comments »

GLAMOUR; LUXURY

August 26th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

To any of those who, for whatever reason, are under the false impression that my life is in any way elegant or charming, HERE IS THE ROACH THAT JUST DIED ON MY SHOE.

Posted in a dream is a wish your heart makes, ha, hmmmmm, how interesting, i am scared, Uncategorized | No Comments »

The Actual Question

August 7th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

Everyone is currently all up in Arms (GET IT? DO YOU?) about downloadable guns, which honestly seem terrifying to me, because how do you even regulate those, but I have a much more macro question / concern: WTF IS A 3 D PRINTER AND HOW DOES IT MAKE ACTUAL THINGS? HOW DO YOU PUT THE STUFF IN IT TO MAKE THE THING? HOW DOES IT THEN BECOME A THING, AND DOES IT FEEL AND LOOK LIKE A THING? NO REALLY PLZ SOMEONE EXPLAIN THIS TO ME BECAUSE I CAN BARELY PRINT A SHIPPING LABEL

Posted in a lot, generally, hmmmmm, i am scared | No Comments »

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