bekah brunstetter
Bekah Brunstetter I care deeply. About a lot of things. Like really, really deep. Ow
playwright in brooklyn, NY

SUN’S OUT HAM’S OUT

December 10th, 2017 by Bekah Brunstetter

ATTN: HONEY BAKED HAM COMPANY:

I AM AVAIL FOR THE WRITING OF ALL OF YOUR COPY FOR MARKETING AND ADVERTISING

BASICALLY I’M JUST READY WHEN YOU ARE

Posted in YAY, a lot, food, i am lucky, words | No Comments »

proper use of current brain

December 9th, 2017 by Bekah Brunstetter

Sure, I have many plays to write and books to read and stories to  break and thoughts to think, but I have my first ever grown up house with a dream husband who GOT ME A HOUSE SHAPED COOKIE CUTTER FOR CHRISTMAS LAST YEAR so really I just feel very strongly that the best thing for me to do right now is to spend hours in my new kitchen avoiding critical thought and instead making house shaped cookies SO GUESS WHAT, THAT’S JUST WHAT I DID.

Posted in food, i am lucky, where i want to live | No Comments »

french women don’t get fat (?)

November 26th, 2017 by Bekah Brunstetter

I found this book on the floor of Mack’s car, and like most things found in friend’s cars I decided to MAKE IT MINE.  Apparently when she was in high school this was THE diet book, which is to say, when you go to high school in LA, there is more than one diet book. I don’t think diet books were a thing in NC high school, like at all.  It was more like, INTERMITTENTLY CONSUME AS MANY CLOVE CIGARETTES AND WENDY’S FRIED CHICKEN SANDWICHES AS HUMANLY POSSIBLE. But I’m giving this one a read in my adult life. The charming french writer, who also runs Veuve Cliquot Champagne, claims that American women get and stay fat because they eat standing up, exercise manically without intention, and deny themselves their pleasures so aggressively that they end up face deep in a bowl of cake batter. French women, comparably, indulge their pleasures, never over do it, don’t work out, but instead walk and take in the world, eat bread and cheese and wine mindfully. American women talk and think obsessively about weight loss, while French women have more brain space and conversation space to actually engage in ideas OKAY WE GET IT, THE FRENCH, YOU’RE BETTER THAN US. But  as much as I want to deep fry this woman and dip her in ranch as she tells me about her whimsical childhood filled with loose teas and baguettes, I do think there’s value to her theory. A lot. I want more space in my brain. I want mornings gazing out the window and bread with dinner. I want pleasure and pinot noir and tiny pats of butter. JE VEUX ETRE FRANCAIS. Or Frances. I would also settle for just being Frances.

Posted in a lot, food, generally, hmmmmm, whining, women | No Comments »

bathwater of choice

November 21st, 2017 by Bekah Brunstetter

A combination of a series of long and draining weeks and  it being almost Thanksgiving  makes me want to submerge myself in a giant vat of butternut squash soup, and then rest on the warm top  like a tiny roasted and salted pepita or a small and decorative piece of raddish, and just float there for days. THAT WOULD BE MOST GOURDGEOUS.

Posted in food, generally, ha, hmmmmm, holidays, wanting | No Comments »

practice makes Cake

November 7th, 2017 by Bekah Brunstetter

Today, on the Cake play is just the gift that keeps on Caking: rehearsals start today for the Cake at Warehouse Theater in Greenville, South Carolina, and in preparation for the role of Della, actor Mimi Wyche has been baking lovely and elaborate seasonal cakes, and delivering them to the theater:

THEY ARE SO BEAUTIFUL / I WANT TO EAT THEM WITH MY HEART

Posted in YAY, food, generally, i am lucky, the writing of drama plays, theater, things | No Comments »

where I stand

October 26th, 2017 by Bekah Brunstetter

Re: the aforementioned photo shoot, yesterday afternoon:

I enter the La times photo studio, and immediately clock a beautifully lit white table.

Me: ….do you want me like — on the table? Or near it?

Photographer: Oh! that’s for the turkey.

Me:…hmm?

Photographer: After you, we’re shooting the Turkey for our Thanksgiving spread.

Me: Haha! How about me WITH the turkey?

Photographer: NO, NO, WE NEED THE TURKEY BY ITSELF.

Posted in a lot, famous people stuff, food, generally, ha, hmmmmm, holidays, horn tooting, how interesting | No Comments »

Bread; Myself

October 24th, 2017 by Bekah Brunstetter

Myself, reflectively: I should really try to just never eat bread. I feel better way when I don’t eat it, and nobody else in LA seems to eat it, ever.

Myself, 22 minutes later:

Posted in a lot, food, hmmmmm, whining, worrying | No Comments »

Empty / Full

October 16th, 2017 by Bekah Brunstetter

Nearly one entire year ago, I bought this jar of Sorghum molasses from a roadside store in the NC mountains. We’d been married for two days and ten minutes. NOW NEARLY 365 DAYS LATER OMG TIME, It is finally cashed, as they say in France. Avoiding work and stress, I’ve turned the jar into countless cookies / memories / breads / apologies / gifts / thanks yous / carbs, just in general. The jar now appears to be empty, but it actually holds a whole year lived, 100 things not written. THANKS FOR THE MEMORIES, MOLASSES, AND OF COURSE ALSO THE PROCRASTINATION!

Posted in MAWWAGE., YAY, a lot, food, i am lucky, tout, trying too hard | No Comments »

why to invent a time machine

October 15th, 2017 by Bekah Brunstetter

There are many reasons to invent a time machine, including but not limited to stopping my cousin from walking in on me changing into my bathing suit at the family reunion that one time,  murdering Hitler, checking out my Great-grandparents just to see that if it’s true that I’m  genetically pre-disposed to being overweight, and just curiosity, in general. But mostly it’s to BE IN THE PLANTER’S CORPORATE OFFICE CONFERENCE ROOM AT THE EXACT MOMENT THAT SOMEONE CAME UP WITH NUT-TRITION.

What happened after the person said it? Was it met with — skepticism? Did anyone say, no, it’s too obvious, it will never work! Or did everyone slap themselves across their own faces and shout WHY DIDN’T I THINK OF IT FIRST? IT’S SO OBVIOUS! IT’S RIGHT THERE! STUPID BARBARA! TWELVE YEARS IN ADVERTISING AND YOU DON’T SEE NUT-TRITION?! Did the person then stand on the conference table, take a long and solemn bow, then retire? Or are they still in an office somewhere, trying to top their last triumph? (HINT TO PERSON:  YOU NEVER WILL)

Posted in a lot, awesome, food, generally, ha, hmmmmm, how interesting, i am a grown up | No Comments »

you can take the girl out of North Carolina

October 14th, 2017 by Bekah Brunstetter

BUT YOU CAN’T STOP THE GIRL FROM HAVING SOME SORT OF FIT IN HER LOCAL TRADER JOES IN LOS ANGELES IN WHICH SHE SHOUTS OKRA!!!!!!!!! WHEN SHE DISCOVERS THAT SAID TRADER JOES HAS SUDDENLY STARTED CARRYING OKRA CHIPS

Posted in I'M SO EXCITED, YAY, food, where i want to live | No Comments »

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