bekah brunstetter
Bekah Brunstetter I care deeply. About a lot of things. Like really, really deep. Ow
playwright in brooklyn, NY


December 19th, 2007 by Bekah Brunstetter

Alright, Bekah. Le jig is up. It is time to quit living lie things, and come forward, honestly, about your sad, post-graduate addictions.  Do not glamorize your life; rather, tell the truth. Be honest about how things Now Are, and they way they will probably Continue to be, for quite some time.

I have a problem.

I am addicted, legally, infinitely, passionately, to television. This has never happened to me before. I pass it off as research, because if I ever want to write for TV, which I should (see exhibit my MASSIVE DEBT), then I should watch TV. A lot. This habit started off innocently. A little late night Ugly Betty here, a lot Family Guy there. But: it has turned into a full-fledged evening habit. Worse than fingernailing biting (which I still do); less bad then um. Heroin? Yeah. That’s right. I don’t do that.

But I do do this:

Yeah, maybe I do. Obsessively, and a lot. Nearly like background music.  And also:


which is this adorable new show about a girl (miss cutie mccute pants, who knew?) Christina Applegate, who used to be a royal mc bee(otch) and gets amnesia, and is now re-discovering herself, re-inventing her life. So stinking cute and legitimately humorous. This I like to watch in 30 minute increments before bed, balancing my mac on my Christmas gut.

And finally:


Honestly- do you remember how good this show is? Honestly. Elizabeth got the DVDs, and we have a problem.

Well, I gotta go. I’m meeting Jared Leto in the boiler room. I think I’m going to tell him it hurts to look at him, or I might just pick a fight with my Mom or dye my hair.

Posted in factual smarts, famous people stuff, vices | No Comments »

Yeah, I drink. What if I do.

November 25th, 2007 by Bekah Brunstetter


So what. You don’t know me. YA’LL DON’T KNOW ME!

Don’t hate, even.

Posted in vices | No Comments »


November 25th, 2007 by Bekah Brunstetter


Hi, friend. Hi. Hello, dancing dinosaurs, the apocalypse, and the appearance of friends from third grade as supporting characters who wear un-hat objects as hats. Hello, tornado dreams.



….Why? Just Why?

I don’t feel good.

I wish someone would butter me up some saltines, wetrag my forehead and tell me a story.

Posted in vices, whining | No Comments »

knick knacks

November 23rd, 2007 by Bekah Brunstetter


When we are Grown and have a Home, we may choose to fill said home with ‘knick knacks.’ These grow to be porcelian (or pewter) suggestions of our belief system, values, whims; reincarnations of once pets.


Our tendency being to collect little things we will Never Need, to fill some Void that shapeshifts from wooden rabbit to Russian tea doll, these collections grew SO vast that someone created a thing to put them in:


And inside, little Objects laden with sentiment, painted with quaint eyes and quiet lips, can be arranged. There they can sit, dust free, being knacky.

I officially lament all of the knick knacks I accumulated from Goodwill while in high school, having not yet found a Home to put them in.

Posted in life, vices | No Comments »

put it in your mouth

November 17th, 2007 by Bekah Brunstetter


Gooey breakfast sandwiches, homemade peanut butter sandwiches, garlicky green beans, Baby Back Ribs, warm yellow rice piles, roasted chicken things, dirty south cole slaw, butter biscuits smother in chocolate; very frozen Long island Iced Tea with plastic versions of fishlife floating inside of them. All of these things, into your gob they go.

And then:


Cheddar and Chive Mashed Potatoes, Country stuffing with Apples, Sasuage and Sage, Blocks and blocks of brie, Orange Cranberry Relish, big melty warm turkey chunks, Pumpkin Mouse, Chocolate Bourbon Pecan Pie.

Put all of these things in your mouth, because life is too short, and because I say so.

I’m ready to eat.

Posted in food, vices | No Comments »

Oh, God

November 8th, 2007 by Bekah Brunstetter


Walking by a random Baptist church in Kip’s Bay today, I saw this etched on a plaque:

‘Disturb us, Lord,

when we are too pleased with ourselves,

When our dreams have come true because

we dreamed too little,

when we arrived safely because

we sailed too close to the shore.’

– Sir Francis Drake

And I liked it.

Posted in factual smarts, famous people stuff, vices, whining, worrying | No Comments »


November 5th, 2007 by Bekah Brunstetter


Unfortunately, amidst self-imposed deadlines and beaucoup de new projects needing astartin – my roommate ( Asian Girl Dan ), received the entire set of Sex and the City DVDS for her birthday. And by entire, I do mean every stinking one of them. I can’t help it. I really, really can’t.

And neither can you.

Posted in love, the writing of drama plays, trying too hard, vices | No Comments »


October 17th, 2007 by Bekah Brunstetter

For today, I love the music of Andrew Bird , who considers himself to be a professional whistler, and who sings soft things about measuring cups with words like ‘there will be snacks there.’ Give albums ‘The Mysterious Production of Eggs’ and ‘Armchair Apocrypha’ a serious listen. Thank goodness, I just discovered, he looks like this:


ie, he poses flippantly with large instruments, which is strangely similar to this:


HaHA. Hello, the copycat.

Also, today, well, okay, EVERY day EVER – I hate jean skirts.



Please, girlfanbase, don’t wear them, ever. Why would you do this denimed thing to yourself? This stiff, sticky thing that pretty much – well – never looks NOT 1998 and is guaranteed to make your butt sweat excessively? It is pretty much also  guaranteed to do the thing where it twists around as you walk and the butt pocket creeps to your front zone. I swore them off years ago. Ladies, you should too.

Finally – today – i feel conflicted  – ie I like and do NOT like – the fact that I’m starting a new job tommorrow. It’s nice to not have to worry about employment for a minute – that was getting old but – I feel like my life is over now. I feel like I’ve given in. I did the math, and honestly, I don’t even know if it’s going to be enough money off of which to live, especially once loan payments kick in. Eh. Is it so wrong to think or feel like I’m destined for greatness? That is so arrogant and unrealistic but – I have really always felt it. I guess we shall see if said ‘greatness’ occurs.

I think more importantly I need to stop being such a CUNextTuesday, like I have been recently, I feel. A total grumblepuss. Where did joy go? It went. I think I forgot it at Gristede’s. I usually am not one to not feel joy.

What’s going on? I don’t know.

Regardless, tommorrow I begin work. Jean skirts will NOT be worn, Andrew Bird will be hearkened, and perhaps joy will be found somewhere between here and 8 west 38th st.

Even this very blog lacks joy. Ugh.

But there are momentary ways to force fleeting Joy, which I will do now:


….Yay. Christmas.

Posted in vices, what i am NOT wearing, whining, working, worrying | No Comments »

Oh, Fudge.

October 16th, 2007 by Bekah Brunstetter


I’m going to be painfully honest. I am $116,533 in debt from Grad School. I do not know how I am going to pay this, ever. Starting January I will owe $1,333 a month to the ‘Man.’ I weigh 162 lbs. So does Tyra Banks, but she looks like this:


And I do not. I’ve had the same pile of clothes on my bed for two months. I watch too much TV. I don’t write enough plays.

In summation, gdit, I would like some fudge: fudge being the solution to perhaps everything.

Posted in vices, whining | No Comments »

The Dangers of Drunk Biking.

August 13th, 2007 by Bekah Brunstetter


(Disclaimer: I am totally guilty of this.)

Um. Apparently, there are a LOT of reasons why you should not bike drunk. Such a plethora of reasons, even that WebMD has created an entire video Aid as to why you should not Scotch it up, and then proceed to Bike it up.

Now, I am not much of a hypochondriac, and have never really been one to attempt to diagnose myself online, so I am not terribly familiar with this thing we are calling ‘WebMD.’ Today, I decided to peruse it. I have learned that wheat bread is giving me cervical cancer, and that Overweight kids miss more school, and that I really want a Big Mac right now. I, however, did not recieve any sort of lollipop for my troubles, which is disappointing. Also, I would like to suggest to WebMD that there be some sort of window in which you can enter your social security number, to find out whether or not you are pregnant, Aids-ridden, or destined for sickly servitude.

Anywhoo. This video in particular uses the terrifying tactics of science and factual stuffs and whatnot to try and convince the commonbike person to please not booze n ride.

But perhaps you are not convinced. I will now present both sides of the argument, to be fair. This is a little thing I like to call ‘Didactic Journalism.’

Reasons why drunkBiking is Totally Awesome:

– wind through your hair
-A Quicker, more effective, less DUI-y mode of transportation to/from bar
-The general over-whelming cuteness of oneself on one’s bike, which proves effective in the attraction of the opposite sex (especially if you stink all man/woman good)
– Going down a hill and saying something like ‘wheeeeee’
-Returning to one’s youth in a very Simba-esque circle of bike-life type situation
-burning of fatmojito calories
-Going down a hill and screaming something like ‘haHA! Je BIKE and you do NOT!’ At passerby’s.
– ‘Taying’ in the wind (See Nell.)

And then, reasons why Drunk Biking is Totally Not Awesome:

Um – Death.

So, right. Death. If I love you, and you ride the bike, please do not boozNcruise. I will hunt you down and cut you for trying. Careful out there, the bikers. We are no longer young.

Posted in factual smarts, i am scared, vices | No Comments »

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