bekah brunstetter
Bekah Brunstetter I care deeply. About a lot of things. Like really, really deep. Ow
playwright in brooklyn, NY

what’s the skinny

April 28th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

Hold up. I know I’m almost 36, which is old, but also young, so AT WHAT POINT DID MY SKIN GO FROM THE SOFT PEDAL OF A SACRED PEONY, TO THAT OF A FOSSILIZED PREHISTORIC CREATURE JUST BROUGHT BACK TO LIFE?

LIKE, THIS IS ME AFTER A SHOWER

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Posted in ....ew, whining | No Comments »

how to paint a miniature

April 23rd, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

Yesterday afternoon, Morrison painted a miniature while I tried to rewrite a tiny part of The Cake for the 900th time. Taking a break from  (READ: PROCRASTINATING) my own task at hand, I watched him swirl tiny paints together with a tiny brush and bring the tiny brush to the tiny face of a tiny person. It felt like he and I were attempting the exact same thing. And so, if it’s a writer’s job to collect similes: trying to rewrite a play that’s already existed for years, without breaking it or changing it entirely, is EXACTLY like painting the Hair onto a fingernail sized person: you must use the tiniest of brush strokes, you must never once question what it is that you are doing.

Posted in a lot, hmmmmm, MAWWAGE., whining, working | No Comments »

DON’T TELL ME WHAT I WANT

April 9th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

Yesterday, I spent an hour unsubscribing from mass emails that, without my realizing it, create a low grade, every day consumer anxiety that is not only distracting but makes me spend my lunch break buying Pants I’ll never wear and adorable trashcans I don’t need. Does it feel different, you ask? Do I now feel lighter, cleaner? THIS IS AN EXACT PICTURE OF THE INSIDE OF MY BRAIN THIS MORNING:

JK JK IT’S STILL THIS

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Posted in a lot, hmmmmm, how interesting, what i am NOT wearing, what I'm wearing, whining, YAY | No Comments »

GROWN UP DEMANDS STICKER

March 14th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

THIS grown up forehead-carrier left her house for work this morning not only NOT with wet hair, but with DRY hair that she even managed to run a curling iron through. WHERE IS MY PRIZE? IT WASN’T AT MY DESK SO I  GUESS IT’S IN THE MAIL? NO SERIOUSLY WHERE IS IT WHY WOULD I PUT MYSELF THROUGH THAT IF NOT FOR PRIZE?

WHAT’S THAT, YOU SAY? THE PRIZE IS INSIDE OF ME? IT’S THE CONFIDENCE NOW FOUND WITHIN? NO THANKS I’LL TRADE FOR STICKER

 

Posted in horn tooting, how interesting, i am a grown up, things, things that I Have, tout, whining, women, YAY | No Comments »

how to work out after work

March 1st, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

  • Tell yourself you’re going to work out after work
  • Wear workout pants to work
  • Spend the whole day talking any opportunity to mention to any available coworker that you are going to work out after work
  • Get home, remove workout pants, eat meatballs
  • Get up to get more meatballs, walk back to couch
  • Congrats, you have worked out

Posted in food, generally, ha, whining | No Comments »

MUFFIN SHAME

February 9th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

N. shame caused by the quality of one’s muffins

Earlier this week, I made a bunch of muffins because when I have the time, and even when I don’t, maybe I’m the kind of person who would like for her husband to ideally have a homemade baked good each day with his breakfast, and also because baking is the single most productive form of procrastination. I made said muffins, Vivian Howard’s Twin Muffins, a recipe she whipped up with squash and dried cherries and pecans and whole wheat flour, to trick her twins into eating things that are good for them. But I definitely underbaked them, so they are only like 70% as good they should be, and each day when I pass them, I feel a deep sense of a shame that can only be described as Muffin Shame, and if I can’t document that here then I genuinely do not know what this blog is for.

Posted in food, generally, ha, MAWWAGE., whining | No Comments »

How many am I?

February 1st, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

Here’s a thing: it’s actually really quite often, while driving and passing an entrance to a carpool lane, I truly have this conversation with myself  in my head:

Self: Okay, so  I can use the carpool lane if there’s more than one person in the car. How many people are in the car?

Other Self: Just you.

Self: Okay so, how many people am I?

Other Self: Really?

Self: JUST ANSWER THE QUESTION THE ENTRANCE IS VERY SOON THIS IS OUR LAST CHANCE

Other Self:…One person. You are ONE person.

Self:…Right. (then) Then how is it that I’m having a conversation with myself?

Other Self: I DON’T KNOW, SWEETHEART, YOU TELL ME

Posted in generally, ha, hmmmmm, LA angst, whining | No Comments »

LIES LIES LIES

January 26th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

GOT A FANCY NEW BEDROOM MIRROR THAT FEELS LIKE LIES

COULD SOMEONE PLZ CONFIRM FOR ME THAT I AM ACTUALLY THIS THIN THNKS

Posted in whining, women, YAY | No Comments »

waste of time

December 17th, 2017 by Bekah Brunstetter

I just suddenly found myself  with 45 minutes with nothing to Do, and instead of Doing something, like ONE thing, I tried to do seventeen things, and now it’s minute 44 and all I can show for it are these sentences that stand in for Thing accomplished, but what even are they but tiny boxes checked that weren’t even there to begin with?

Posted in a lot, whining | No Comments »

trickle down bekahnomics

December 4th, 2017 by Bekah Brunstetter

A math problem:

Q. Bekah has five forty minute lunch breaks each week to  read about and try and understand the madness that is the proposed tax bill. Since Bekah is a slow and easily distracted reader who cannot get through a paragraph of an article without having a memory or a future thought or wondering if there might be a play about it, Bekah can read 1.5 articles per lunch break. How many lunch breaks spent reading about taxes will it take for Bekah to REALIZE THAT SHE HAS IN FACT OVERPAID THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS ON HER OWN PROPERTY TAXES?

A. ONE. THIS PARTICULAR LUNCH BREAK RIGHT NOW.

Posted in a lot, I hate money, whining | No Comments »

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