bekah brunstetter
Bekah Brunstetter I care deeply. About a lot of things. Like really, really deep. Ow
playwright in brooklyn, NY

HOW TO SLEEP

January 13th, 2019 by Bekah Brunstetter

  • Start worrying about 4 PM about how you didn’t sleep enough last night and so tonight you really must sleep
  • Focus on how tired you are and convince yourself that surely, this means that tonight, YOU WILL SLEEP
  • Have a few glasses of wine to definitely ensure definite amounts of (not real but the appearances of real) sleep
  • Have a cup of Herbal Detox tea right before bed to trick your body into thinking you DIDN’T just drink wine to make yourself sleep
  • Go to Bed
  • LIE AWAKE IN BED FOR HOURS, YOU HAVE NEVER BEEN LESS TIRED OR MORE AWAKE IN YOUR ENTIRE LIFE
  • Sleep for five minutes
  • Spiral all the next day, contemplate your sleep problems while sleep-working
  • casually Look at tea
  • REALIZE THAT TEA HAS CAFFEINE, YOU IDIOT
  • MAYBE A TEENY TINY AMOUNT BUT STILL
  • RESOLVE TO NOT DRINK CAFFEINE RIGHT BEFORE BED
  • SLEEP

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it’s always right there

December 18th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

I’ve escaped to Idyllwild, CA for a few days to finally figure out my $&%^#(@* EXPLETIVE EXPLETIVE latest play that I can’t seem to crack. Play after Play, it really only takes a two hour drive and a few forced conversations with sweet old women who work in stores that sell bedazzled rabbit belt buckles, and maybe an aribtrary purchase of a blanket scarf to hide / live in — and suddenly, my brain is a bit more clear, and suddenly the profound playwriting thoughts come. Sure, once I’m back at home I realize they weren’t so much ‘profound thoughts’  as they were, say, ‘thoughts,’ but it always feels good to feel and share them. And so, humor me. Today I’m thinking about how, whenever I can’t figure out a character or a scene or plot point — THE ANSWER IS ALWAYS, ALWAYS the truth. It’s never something funnier, more exciting, more unexpected — it’s just always the truth. And my favorite thing about the truth is that it’s always there. OKAY, BACK TO SCARF HOME.

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it Has to be Hard

December 4th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

At some point, early on in our relationship, Morrison and I were discussing something that I of course can’t recall. It went something like:

Morrison: I’m loving how easy this element of our combined life and / or relationship is.

Me: Yeah but sometimes, it has to be Hard. 

And ever since, he likes to repeat my own words back to me, when it in fact gets Hard, because of course, sometimes it does. I think what I was trying to say is that I didn’t want to feel like we were just in a relationship because it was easy. I wanted us to choose to be together, despite the Hard stuff. And for the last year,  there has been some Hard stuff. I mean, also the good stuff, like there is House and Family and Most Perfect Cat, there are blessings of Intellect, Careers, Curiosity, and Christmas Lights, and good lord, don’t get me started on microwavable breakfast sausage. But also: we want to be parents, and we are not. (YET.) And that has been Hard. Not knowing why not has been Hard, waiting has been Hard, watching it happen for other people has been Hard.  Yesterday, I underwent a (very routine) procedure (that I will try very hard not to be overdramatic about)  to correct some issues that turns out have been, well, making it Hard for us to conceive (THANK YOU, SCIENCE. MEDICINE? SCIENCE. I DON’T KNOW. I WRITE PLAYS.) And now, on the other side of it, we’re hopeful that 2019 will make us parents, rob us of sleep, turn our home into a teething ring, and other beautifully Hard things that I will surely complain about, PERHAPS EVEN HERE.  And I really can’t wait for that Hard stuff. Because, I mean, a wise Bekah once said, not really realizing what she was saying, or that it would echo through her heart for years to come: IT HAS TO BE HARD. I know for a fact that whenever a small person takes over my body and subsequently, our home, I will appreciate it harder, because it was Hard. So I’m just going to focus, Hard, on that fact.

 

Posted in a dream is a wish your heart makes, a lot, babies, life, love, MAWWAGE., the future, whining, women, worrying, YAY | No Comments »

BREAKING THROUGH BARRIERS

November 28th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

Elizabeth recently turned me on to the Nike Running Club App’s collaboration with Headspace, a meditation app which has helped millions of people NOT cry on their lunch breaks.  Andy Puddicome — the British meditation guide whose voice feels like sticking your hands in pudding in a good way — calmly speaks to you, reminds you to take in your surroundings, focus on the positive. Yesterday, I ran to ‘Breaking through Barriers,’ a meditation in YOU GET IT. But hilariously, I chose to jog at the very moment when about seventeen million kids were being walked to school by their parents. And so as Andy puddinged me to not focus on the things standing in my way, but instead stay present —  I LITERALLY BROKE THROUGH BARRIERS OF TINY CHILDREN, which aren’t my barrier, per se, but moreso my goal? But my inability to be positive about it all is, in fact, a barrier. AND SO I BROKE THROUGH IT / DIDN’T EVEN KNOCK ANY OF THEM OVER / ONLY RAN FROM THEM SCREAMING AT MY UTERUS FROM BEHIND MY EYES / SUCCESS!

Posted in a lot, ha, hmmmmm, i am lucky, whining, women, worrying, YAY | No Comments »

Contradictions

November 13th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

  • Bakes cookies for feminist theater group meeting
  • Spends entire feminist theater group meeting wondering why no one’s eating her cookies
  • When asked for her feminist thoughts about theater, just shouts I BAKED COOKIES
  • Disappears under couch cushion
  • makes mental note to ask for recipe for Mother’s Macaroni and Cheese

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pro marriage trick

November 1st, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

Me: I feel like I look like I’ve gained weight, but I haven’t.

Morrison:…what?

Me: I mean, I haven’t recently. But I LOOK like I have.

Morrison: You’re right.

Me: What?

Morrison: I’ve been looking at you and thinking, she hasn’t gained weight, but she’s got the definite LOOK of having gained weight, even though she has gained no weight.

Me: That sounds insane.

Morrison: EXACTLY

Posted in a lot, how interesting, i am a grown up, i am lucky, love, MAWWAGE., narcissism, whining, women, YAY | No Comments »

why to never drink water at a wedding

October 28th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

Note: Though the below might suggest otherwise, I AM staying hopeful and positive that I will someday ‘become a pregnant person,’ as my doctor calls it. I basically just can no longer keep the worry and hilarity of this life phase off of my blog. I’ve tried to keep it off of here, in fear of being over-dramatic or worse, pessimistic, and also just out of respect for the women who have truly been in the thick of this for nine times the amount of days that I have, with greater heartbreak, BUT I MEAN WHY EVEN ELSE HAVE A BLOG / THIS IS LITERALLY WHAT BLOGS ARE FOR / NOW YOU GET TO WORRY ABOUT MY FERTILITY TOO / YOU’RE WELCOME! 

At a friend’s wedding, I decide to switch to water, like just for a minute, because Hydration and Headache. Very nice well-intentioned other friend spots me with said glass of water, and I don’t know, maybe a poorly positioned wrap dress? Perhaps a face swollen from baking my feelings and eating them?  I don’t know. Her eyes light up like Christmas but with a secret, and she rushes to my side.

Friend (furtively:) Are you pregnant?

Me: What? NO. No no no no no no no no (then, approximately 100 more No’s) 

Friend: Oh — God, sorry — I’m so sorry, I just thought —

Me: It’s fine. It’s totally fine. Are you pregnant?

Friend: Um — I don’t think so?

Me: I only ask because recently, it has come to attention that I am the only female person in the entire world and on the entire internet that is not pregnant.  Everyone I went to high school and college with, and their bosses and neighbors and friends, and the people who sell them their groceries and their cars, everyone I’ve ever emailed or envied is pregnant.  Even the moments I’m not pregnant are pregnant with all of the pregnancies I’m not pregnant with.

(A moment.)

Friend: Oh my God. You’re right. I think I’m pregnant. That’s so weird, I wasn’t even trying!

Me: SEE? YOU SEE?!

Friend: Oh God, can I get you some wine?

Me: YES PLZ TEN BUCKETS, AND WITH GREAT HASTE

 

Posted in a lot, babies, generally, ha, hmmmmm, how interesting, i am a grown up, i am lucky, i am scared, life, love, MAWWAGE., oh nooo, the future, tout, trying too hard, whining, women, words, worrying, YAY | No Comments »

dressues

October 6th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

-Me: I need a dress for that thing next week, at which I must look like an effortless adult person who is Polished and Poised without trying too Hard.

  • spends (wastes) hours online looking at dresses
  • perhaps orders a few, spends (wastes) money and also time on trying them on, returning them
  • forlorn, looks in own closet
  • Sees 900 DRESSES, MOST OF WHICH ARE PERFECTLY APPROPRIATE FOR EVENT.
  • realizes that this isn’t just about Dresses
  • the answer is always (usually) right in front of you
  • Like really, you can search the world (internet) but you will just end up back at Home

Posted in a lot, DRESSES!!!!!!!!!!!!, ha, hmmmmm, whining, women, working, worrying, YAY | No Comments »

a thing that I should not be doing

October 4th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

I just realized a completely psychotic thing that I’ve been doing, and I think I’ll lay it here, in hopes of embarrassing myself just enough to stop doing it. I keep thinking about old pairs of jeans that don’t fit anymore, as if they’re people I used to love. I imagine the moments I had with them. I ponder what my life would be like if I still could wear them. I wonder where they are now. I literally sigh after these thoughts. NOW THAT I’VE CONFESSED THIS, PEOPLE LET ME FOREVER STOP CONFUSING PEOPLE AND CLOTHES.

Posted in a lot, ha, hmmmmm, what i am NOT wearing, what I'm wearing, whining, worrying | No Comments »

CRINKLE PARTY OF ONE

September 15th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

DEAR THEATER PATRON WHO CAME TO MY PLAY LAT NIGHT TO LITERALLY JUST SIT THERE CRINKLING A PLASTIC BAG DURING THE QUIETEST MOMENTS:

THERE ARE MAYBE OTHER PLACES TO CRINKLE YOUR BAG. SUGGESTIONS:

  • A SOUNDPROOF ROOM
  • YOUR OWN HOUSE
  • THE MOON
  • NOT AT MY PLAY

Posted in the writing of drama plays, whining | No Comments »

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