bekah brunstetter
Bekah Brunstetter I care deeply. About a lot of things. Like really, really deep. Ow
playwright in brooklyn, NY

how to know you’ve made a new lady friend

August 12th, 2017 by Bekah Brunstetter

Chatting with a gal after the play last night:

Me: I could not eat for a year and I would still have my butt.

Her: Me too girl, me too. I’ve told my family, we’d be fine in the apocalypse.

Me: Because you could all eat your butt.

Her: Exactly! Just slice it off and live off of it.

Posted in YAY, the future, whining, women, words | No Comments »

humble thyself in the sight of the Lord

August 7th, 2017 by Bekah Brunstetter

I think it goes without saying that lately, things have been going pretty darn great for me. But then Saturday, I flitted out of a nice dinner with friends, en route to my play, to find my car COVERED IN BIRD POOP. Not the car to the right of my car. Not the car to the left. ONLY MY CAR. I’m going to take it as a gentle reminder of a hymn I used to sing in youth group, which I think went something like:

Humble thyself in the sight of the Lord

Humble thyself in the sight of the Lord

Or he

will send birds to poop

poop on your carrrrrrr

Yes he

will send birds to poop on your carrrrrrrr

Posted in YAY, a lot, awesome, faith, i am lucky, oh nooo, whining | No Comments »

where I go

July 19th, 2017 by Bekah Brunstetter

The last week has been VERY NERVE-WRACKING as we approach the final phases of home ownership, which PS, is something like riding a roller coaster made of documents and financial worry and broken printers, and you are only partially strapped in to your seat on this roller coaster, so every time you round a corner, you smack your forehead against the bar that is meant to protect you, then maybe you puke. But this remarkable thing has been happening in my head during this stressful time. When I get overwhelmed, my brain keeps taking me here:

Morrison and I standing in a massive and beautiful and humbling cave in Thailand, on our honeymoon in December, Christmas eve, drowning in our own sweat and a very specific joy that comes from being the farthest you’ve been from home, with the person you love the most. It was honestly one of the best days of my life. I want to believe our brains trap and hold images like this to soothe us when we start to break. Remember this?  Go here. Stay there for a minute. Better now? Okay, good. Back to your life.

Posted in MAWWAGE., YAY, how interesting, i am lucky, love, memories, whining, worrying | No Comments »

Basicbucks

July 17th, 2017 by Bekah Brunstetter

I know I’m supposed to only love fair trade Ethiopian first cold pressed hints of earth nuts coffee, but I LOVE STARBUCKS AND I DON’T CARE WHO KNOWS IT.  They have sandwiches. They have bathrooms. They have almond milk. They take cards. They have this mobile app with which you can order your drinks from your phone, and then just pop in and pick them up. As a person who suffers from Obsessive Time Management Disorder, who plans pockets of seven minutes of time days in advance, who is deathly allergic to wasting any sort of time, it is a life changer. It means that I can just head in and grab my drink and NOT EVEN DEAL WITH THE UNKNOWN FACTOR OF HOW LONG THE LINE IS. Call me basic, call me a robot, but I am the  HAPPIEST MOST BASIC ROBOT THERE EVER WAS.

Posted in YAY, a dream is a wish your heart makes, awesome, vices, wanting, whining, worrying | No Comments »

playwright gamez

July 15th, 2017 by Bekah Brunstetter

I like to think that every playwright has their own coping mechanisms slash games to get themselves through the very vulnerable experience of sitting in a room with people as they watch your soul play out live for ninety minutes. My personal favorite: focus on the person who clearly does not want to be there. TRY AND WILL THEM TO WANT TO BE THERE BY STARRING AT THE BACK OF THEIR HEAD SO HARD IT MAKES YOUR EYEBALLS HURT. Whenever the person sighs heavily or even just slightly moves, convince yourself that you’re a hack. Start to draft an apology letter to the person in your head. BEFORE YOU KNOW IT, PLAY IS DONE / PAIN IS OVER / RUN AWAY FROM PERSON / NEVER DELIVER NOTE.

Posted in YAY, a lot, silly, the writing of drama plays, theater, whining, words, working, worrying | No Comments »

formerly fat career girl

July 12th, 2017 by Bekah Brunstetter

Sometimes my own thought processes horrify me. Yesterday the New York Times ran an  article about me, which I honestly have been secretly dreaming about FOR YEARS. My first thoughts once I saw that it was posted: Do I look fat? How fat do I look? Do I look slightly more fat than I was ten minutes or ten years ago? Is everyone going to see that I’ve gained fifteen pounds since last year? ONLY AFTER THESE INCONSEQUENTIAL QUESTIONS AND THOUGHTS, did I then read the article, which is a lovely article in which I managed to represent what I believe in, what troubles me, what goes on in my BRAIN, by which I mean, the thing floating inside of the container that is my body, that is arguably, and INCONSEQUENTIALLY, bigger at some points than it is at others.

Posted in YAY, a lot, i am lucky, the writing of drama plays, things that I Have, wanting, what I'm wearing, whining, women, worrying | No Comments »

lip colored lips

July 10th, 2017 by Bekah Brunstetter

I just realized that I paid a decent amount of actual human money for lip stuff that is actual just the color of my lips.

Are my colors fading? Am I an old shirt? Is this getting older? Is getting older purchasing things that make you look not like a better version of yourself, but just like you actually should?

Posted in YAY, ha, hmmmmm, things that I Have, whining, women | No Comments »

why to thank Jay-Z

July 8th, 2017 by Bekah Brunstetter

Sometimes it’s like, oh no, I will never be physically flawless, and I must because that is the answer, ISN’T THAT THE ANSWER? But then I remember that JAY-Z CHEATED ON BEYONCE. This was his person, and he said no thanks, I’ll have another!

So basically physical beauty will get you NOWHERE EXCEPT OF COURSE FOR MILLIONS OF DOLLARS AND YOUR OWN LINE OF FITNESS WEAR AND PEOPLE WHO ACTUALLY WORSHIP YOU AMERICAN GODS STYLE.

Posted in YAY, famous people stuff, fancy, whining, women, worrying | No Comments »

all I see

July 6th, 2017 by Bekah Brunstetter

Dear anyone who has made any sort of attempt to interact with me yesterday or today:

I’m once again attempting a juice cleanse, being that I ate approximately nine cakes over the weekend (NOT SORRY) so please just be aware that that THIS IS WHAT I SEE WHEN I LOOK AT YOU:

And so I’m sorry if I try and dip your face in ketchup / ask you if come with a side of a ranch / sprinkle you with salt / try and take our conversation home in a To Go box / LICK YOUR HANDS BECAUSE THEY SMELL LIKE YOUR LUNCH.

Posted in YAY, a lot, food, generally, ha, hmmmmm, whining | No Comments »

house for sale in Los Angeles

June 15th, 2017 by Bekah Brunstetter

Newly tilted over, falling into the ocean 3 bed / 1.75 bath house for sale in sort of Los Angeles by which I mean, within one hour drive! It’s listed as approximately 10 times your yearly income regardless of how hard you’ve been working since grad school! It has a Countertop (1), .5 Toilet, Room, Floors, Walls (sometimes), and Beautiful views of the ocean, as it is partially sliding into it! Act now, as there are already 47 offers, all of which have been made in Diamonds! Actual diamonds! Oh do you not have sacks of diamonds GOOD LUCK FINDING A HOUSE

Posted in I hate money, a lot, how interesting, i am a grown up, where i want to live, whining | No Comments »

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