bekah brunstetter
Bekah Brunstetter I care deeply. About a lot of things. Like really, really deep. Ow
playwright in brooklyn, NY

sup, bra?

November 13th, 2017 by Bekah Brunstetter

For reasons I will surely spend the rest of my life trying to understand, my bra somehow just undid itself under my shirt. Working theories:

- my bra is a twelve year old boy

- somewhere on the Paramount Lot, there is an invisible twelve year old boy

- I am actually a twelve  year old boy

Posted in YAY, hmmmmm, what I'm wearing, what i am NOT wearing, whining | No Comments »

Dust

November 12th, 2017 by Bekah Brunstetter

We can’t quite sleep in our new place yet, as it’s still quite covered in dust from the ongoing renovations, and I’m allergic to dust, so we gladly spent the night in a vaguely European hotel in Glendale where I’m pretty sure amateur porn producers house new girls when the fly in from Tampa. All of this to say, I am allergic to dust.  Reflecting on it now, is that not the lamest allergy there ever was? And isn’t EVERYONE allergic to dust? Isn’t it just like being allergic to clouds or periods at the end of sentences? I’ve known it since I went to the allergist when I was ten-ish and the doctor walked in on my putting my shirt back on. I learned three things that day: shame,  that my dust allergy was mild but persistent, and that I am BASICALLY THE MOST BASIC PERSON THAT HAS EVER LIVED.

Posted in YAY, memories, silly, whining | No Comments »

detox tea, or how I met my intestines

November 5th, 2017 by Bekah Brunstetter

I am truly ashamed that I had to learn this the hard way, but turns out, the skinny people on instagram are simply HOLDING the cleansing teas, and probably not actually using them. I tried a detox tea friday night, and what followed, and what continues to follow, is ME GREETING EVERYTHING I HAVE EVER CONSUMED OVER THE LAST EIGHT YEARS OF MY LIFE, NOT JUST FOOD BUT ALSO FEELINGS AND IDEAS,  AS THEY EXIT ALL PARTS OF MY BODY. Last night it left me vulnerable, weak,  sobbing at a Huggie’s Newborn commercial. While I’d love to report that I woke up today with a Bikini Body, I mostly woke up today with hot rocks somehow buried deep in my back, and a regret so steeped in self consciousness I might have to do another cleanse just to get rid of it JK NEVER CLEANSE AGAIN

Posted in ....ew, a lot, whining, women | No Comments »

furniture shopping for drunks

November 4th, 2017 by Bekah Brunstetter

Furniture salesperson: This couch features crypton fabric. You can spill anything on it, and it just beads up, then you wipe it off with a rag! It’s resistant to everything!

Me:….even wine?

Furniture salesperson:Yep! Even wine.

Me: So….I can accidentally spill an entire glass of red wine all over it and it will be totally fine?

Furniture salesperson: Yep!

Me: I’LL TAKE IT! / CALLS APPLE STORE, ASKS IF COMPUTERS AND ALSO PHONES COME IN CRYPTON

Posted in YAY, i am a grown up, things, things that I Have, tout, trying too hard, whining, worrying | No Comments »

prom / prom

October 27th, 2017 by Bekah Brunstetter

Today, on sacred things found while packing:

What I was probably supposed to look like at my senior prom:

What I actually looked like:

Posted in DRESSES!!!!!!!!!!!!, YAY, awesome, memories, what I'm wearing, whining, women | No Comments »

Camera Ready Playwright

October 25th, 2017 by Bekah Brunstetter

Asking a playwright to show up for a photo shoot camera ready is like asking a model to show up to a photoshoot with a  journal full of profound haiku and short plays, which is to say, OF COURSE SOME MODELS ALSO WRITE POETRY AND OF COURSE SOME PLAYWRIGHTS KNOW HOW TO MAKE THEMSELVES ATTRACTIVE / LET’S NOT PUT PEOPLE IN BOXES, but personally, I do NOT know how to contour my face or find my light, so I will be showing up like the conventional playwright, which is to say, camera AFRAID.

Posted in YAY, a lot, the writing of drama plays, theater, whining, women | No Comments »

Bread; Myself

October 24th, 2017 by Bekah Brunstetter

Myself, reflectively: I should really try to just never eat bread. I feel better way when I don’t eat it, and nobody else in LA seems to eat it, ever.

Myself, 22 minutes later:

Posted in a lot, food, hmmmmm, whining, worrying | No Comments »

how they get you

October 19th, 2017 by Bekah Brunstetter

Consumer: I would please like a bed frame to hold my bed off the ground.

Pleasant Furniture store: Great! Here’s a reasonably priced bed frame, to hold your bed.

Consumer: Great! Now, I would please like two nightstands that match the bed frame, so that when I enter my room at night, I feel that sweet sweet calm brought on by the order of having house things that match.

Pleasant Furniture store: No problem. We have matching nightstands too BUT THEY  COST MORE THAN THE BED FRAME ITSELF AND THAT IS  JUST FOR ONE OF THEM AND  YOU NEED TWO FOR YOUR FALSE SENSE OF ORDER AND BALANCE, HAHAHAHA YOU IDIOT, YOU ARE WEAK AND YOU ARE MINNNNEEEEEEEEE MUAHAHAHA

Posted in I hate money, how interesting, i am a grown up, things, wanting, whining | No Comments »

Look at me / Don’t look at me

October 18th, 2017 by Bekah Brunstetter

Being that I almost have a grown up person house of my own, it is finally time for me to stop storing things at my parent’s house like a college freshman.  My Mom most recently shipped me my old  jewelry box full of cross necklaces and broken promise rings and this bracelet that I made in high school or perhaps middle school, which I think sums up my entire existence:

I think I thought it was ironic, to have someone Look at my Bracelet and see the word Look? (This bracelet of course brought to you by the budding playwright who, around the same time, wrote a play called Happen in which nothing Happens.) Or maybe, if we go deeper, I just wanted to be looked at, then horrified at the idea that I was being looked at, but then devastated if no one was looking.  Is this the quintessential teenage person experience, or is this perhaps just THE BEING A PERSON EXPERIENCE?

Posted in YAY, a lot, ha, hmmmmm, how interesting, i am a grown up, narcissism, theater, things, things that I Have, trying too hard, what I'm wearing, what i am NOT wearing, whining | No Comments »

re: how contractor’s kids go to college

October 11th, 2017 by Bekah Brunstetter

Contractor: Sorry, we have to rip a bunch of gaping holes in the walls all throughout the house that you guys just bought with all of the money you’ve ever had and then some.

Us:….Okay, why?

Contractor: To fix all of the faulty electrical work so that you don’t all die in a house fire which would, you know, be kind of lame, given how hard you have worked to obtain said house, and you know, life.

Us:….Okay, sounds good, let’s do it. Rip them holes, fix them wires.

Contractor: It will cost ten grand.

Us: OW. OKAY.

(A month later)

Contractor: Okay, the wires are fixed!

Us: AMAZING, THANK YOU!

Contractor: Would you like me to….close the gaping holes in the wall that I made all throughout your house?

Us:….Uh…Yes?

Contractor: THAT WILL BE TEN THOUSAND MORE DOLLARS MU HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Posted in a lot, hmmmmm, i am a grown up, whining | No Comments »

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