Let it be known that Cracker, having been raised by a human who is allergic to forced moments, heard the words ‘family picture!!!’ and hid above the refrigator for hours until finally he had to come down for food and then I FORCED THE MOMENT UPON HIM. Him being both of them.
Oh nothing, just Morrison’s nephew Morrison bringing the heat with the same at once loving and unsettling eyes that his Uncle has, or as his mom aptly put it, ‘casually staring into your soul.’
The other night I made us halibut, and Morrison Keddie suffered hours of my workshopping the perfect halibut joke. (Spoiler: none of them work. Just don’t even try. Not even ‘halibut what if you didn’t.’) And now, it is a mere 30 DAYS TIL I WED THIS KED. SEE WHAT I DED THERE? QUICK, TIME, HURRY, SO I CAN SEAL THE DEAL BEFORE HE CALLS IT OFF BECAUSE PUNS
If you’re in a rush to get to work, it’s best to just pretend like you’re not, and complete tasks, like perhaps breakfast preparation, with the ease of all of the time in the world, or else:
Special thanks to Morrison for 1.) finding this hilarious so that I could, too 2.) documenting 3.) Cleaning every second of it up so that I could continue rushing out the door, unnecessarily banging into things.
Which one of these pictures is the best?
Take your time. Pick your favorite. Go ahead. Do it.
YOU ARE WRONG.
THEY ARE ALL THE VERY BEST. EACH AND EVERYONE ONE OF THEM IS THE BEST PICTURE OF THIS FLAWLESS MOMENT, WHICH IS WHY I CURRENTLY HAVE 900 VERSIONS OF IT ON MY PHONE.
THREE MONTHS TIL THE WEDDING
MORRISON IS GOING TO START BULKING UP
I’M GOING TO START SLIMMING DOWN
SOON OUR SIZES WILL ECLIPSE EACH OTHER AND HE WILL LIFT ME LIKE A BABY CARROT UNDER A PECAN TREE
When you and your partner enter a Photo Booth and, with no previous discussion or plan, do the EXACT SAME THING AS EACH OTHER IN EACH FRAME, it is probably time to make a public and lifelong commitment, as your minds having officially melded into one.
1. HAPPY TERROR SURPRISE
2. JOY SCREAM INTO EACH OTHER’S FACES
3. DRUNK THOUGHTFUL PUPPETS
4. SMUSH KISS
One of the best things about getting hitched is gaining whole new chunk of kin and assuming all of their babies as your own. On the Fourth of July, as if they planned it, Morrison’s little sister Emily and her husband Bil welcomed wee (10 POUNDER) Morrison John, after Emily’s big brothers, or Mojo for short:
Welcome to the fam, Mojo! I can’t wait to protect you from yourself and counsel you when you are a budding scientist or DJ or DJ Scientist and BREAKING ALL OF THE HEARTS WITH THESE.
Morrison dreamt that we went to look at a house and the house was made of pink lemonade cake, which I can only interpret not as a waking fever dream caused by hunger and / or indigestion but as a TIME TRAVEL GLIMPSE INTO OUR ACTUAL FUTURE.
Sometimes, one must exchange one’s usual world and routine for a blue wig and spend the day frolicking around Ru Paul’s Drag Con, putting glitter all over your face, chasing around a particular queen for a picture because she bears an uncanny resemblance to your ex-boyfriend.