bekah brunstetter
Bekah Brunstetter I care deeply. About a lot of things. Like really, really deep. Ow
playwright in brooklyn, NY

Empty / Full

October 16th, 2017 by Bekah Brunstetter

Nearly one entire year ago, I bought this jar of Sorghum molasses from a roadside store in the NC mountains. We’d been married for two days and ten minutes. NOW NEARLY 365 DAYS LATER OMG TIME, It is finally cashed, as they say in France. Avoiding work and stress, I’ve turned the jar into countless cookies / memories / breads / apologies / gifts / thanks yous / carbs, just in general. The jar now appears to be empty, but it actually holds a whole year lived, 100 things not written. THANKS FOR THE MEMORIES, MOLASSES, AND OF COURSE ALSO THE PROCRASTINATION!

Posted in MAWWAGE., YAY, a lot, food, i am lucky, tout, trying too hard | No Comments »

why to invent a time machine

October 15th, 2017 by Bekah Brunstetter

There are many reasons to invent a time machine, including but not limited to stopping my cousin from walking in on me changing into my bathing suit at the family reunion that one time,  murdering Hitler, checking out my Great-grandparents just to see that if it’s true that I’m  genetically pre-disposed to being overweight, and just curiosity, in general. But mostly it’s to BE IN THE PLANTER’S CORPORATE OFFICE CONFERENCE ROOM AT THE EXACT MOMENT THAT SOMEONE CAME UP WITH NUT-TRITION.

What happened after the person said it? Was it met with — skepticism? Did anyone say, no, it’s too obvious, it will never work! Or did everyone slap themselves across their own faces and shout WHY DIDN’T I THINK OF IT FIRST? IT’S SO OBVIOUS! IT’S RIGHT THERE! STUPID BARBARA! TWELVE YEARS IN ADVERTISING AND YOU DON’T SEE NUT-TRITION?! Did the person then stand on the conference table, take a long and solemn bow, then retire? Or are they still in an office somewhere, trying to top their last triumph? (HINT TO PERSON:  YOU NEVER WILL)

Posted in a lot, awesome, food, generally, ha, hmmmmm, how interesting, i am a grown up | No Comments »

you can take the girl out of North Carolina

October 14th, 2017 by Bekah Brunstetter

BUT YOU CAN’T STOP THE GIRL FROM HAVING SOME SORT OF FIT IN HER LOCAL TRADER JOES IN LOS ANGELES IN WHICH SHE SHOUTS OKRA!!!!!!!!! WHEN SHE DISCOVERS THAT SAID TRADER JOES HAS SUDDENLY STARTED CARRYING OKRA CHIPS

Posted in I'M SO EXCITED, YAY, food, where i want to live | No Comments »

OW MY HEART 

October 13th, 2017 by Bekah Brunstetter

I don’t care how long you’ve known each other / how many vows you’ve made to each other / how many moments you’ve made together / how often the two of you talk to your cat at great length like he’s a third person in the room who deserves equal attention and respect: YOU DO NOT KNOW HOW MUCH YOU LOVE A PERSON UNTIL YOU SEE THAT PERSON WHEELED AWAY IN A HOSPITAL BED WHILE YOU STAND THERE HOLDING THEIR UNDERWEAR IN A BAG. 

Posted in Uncategorized | No Comments »

HOW TO KNOW YOU’RE DOING TOO MUCH

October 12th, 2017 by Bekah Brunstetter

Your husband is getting his gall bladder removed, and taking care of him / nursing him back to health sounds BEAUTIFUL AND CALMING AND RELAXING, and you both can’t wait to sit and not do anything for three days except maybe watch TV and eat dry toast with the singular focus of healing.

Posted in MAWWAGE., a lot, life, love | No Comments »

re: how contractor’s kids go to college

October 11th, 2017 by Bekah Brunstetter

Contractor: Sorry, we have to rip a bunch of gaping holes in the walls all throughout the house that you guys just bought with all of the money you’ve ever had and then some.

Us:….Okay, why?

Contractor: To fix all of the faulty electrical work so that you don’t all die in a house fire which would, you know, be kind of lame, given how hard you have worked to obtain said house, and you know, life.

Us:….Okay, sounds good, let’s do it. Rip them holes, fix them wires.

Contractor: It will cost ten grand.

Us: OW. OKAY.

(A month later)

Contractor: Okay, the wires are fixed!

Us: AMAZING, THANK YOU!

Contractor: Would you like me to….close the gaping holes in the wall that I made all throughout your house?

Us:….Uh…Yes?

Contractor: THAT WILL BE TEN THOUSAND MORE DOLLARS MU HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Posted in a lot, hmmmmm, i am a grown up, whining | No Comments »

Lazitude

October 10th, 2017 by Bekah Brunstetter

I do not have the time or brain space this lunch break for thought, original or otherwise, definitely not just because of the salad dressing I just spilled on my pants, and so please accept this picture of Morrison and I in our evidently eternal blue phase at Katharine’s wedding as something insightful, or new. Please let it stand in for astute comments on all things wildfire and Harvey Weinstein:

SUCH CALM. SUCH PEACE. SUCH COORDINATION. OKAY, BACK TO MESS

Posted in MAWWAGE., YAY, ha, hmmmmm, i am scared, love, what I'm wearing | No Comments »

this is Normal

October 9th, 2017 by Bekah Brunstetter

My most brilliant mother in law Cam procured these brilliant action figures for her grandkids to play with:

Now, when my nephews see people with disabilities out in the world, it won’t even be a thing. They will have no need to gawk or stare. They will just pick the person up and start chewing on their heads, JUST AS THEY WOULD AN ABLE BODIED PERSON.

Posted in YAY, a lot, awesome, babies, things, tout | No Comments »

yet another spectacular Kedding!

October 8th, 2017 by Bekah Brunstetter

WHAT IS A KEDDING, YOU ASK? THANKFULLY YOU ARE ON THE INTERNET, WHICH HAS ALL OF THE INFORMATION, SUCH AS, DEFINITIONS! Kedding: noun; when one of the Keddies (Morrison’s family / Mom’s side of family) gets hitched. IT’S A COMBINATION OF WEDDING AND KEDDIE / KEEP UP / THIS IS AN EVER CHANGING WORLD. This weekend’s Kedding was for dear and beautiful and loyal Kate, Morrison’s oldest sister:

And as Per Kedding standard, we consumed 1400 lbs of carbs, danced to an acceptable hour as if no one and everyone were watching, and  I felt infinitely grateful to be a part this ever expanding family. I kedd you not, I would do one of these a week and it would NEVER GET OLD.

Posted in MAWWAGE., YAY, a lot, family, life, love | No Comments »

INSPO

October 7th, 2017 by Bekah Brunstetter

Family wedding Hair and makeup people: please bring inspiration pictures to the appointment so that we might guide you to your best look.

Me:

Hair and Makeup people: Is this serious, or a joke?

Me: WHAT IS ‘SERIOUS?’ WHAT IS ‘JOKE?’ NOW PLEASE, MAKE ME LOOK THE MOST BEAUTIFUL WOMAN IN THE WORLD WITHOUT TOUCHING ME

Result:

Posted in YAY, a lot, i am lucky, i am scared, whining, women | No Comments »

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