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I snuck back to NYC to attend the Pants NYC Premiere party. There was something about the impulsiveness of this trip that pretty much convinced me that I was sure to be met with aviation disaster, so I had a particularly panicked flight, at first. As per usual, though, I learned some new tricks to deal with my dumb crazy.

- Sit next to a solider. Find one, and sit next to him. Personify him as your brother, show him pictures of your brothers, and when the turbulence gets real bad, asking him more questions about deer hunting. (Why? How? Why?)

- Watch Footloose and chair-dance.

- Announce to any stewardess that passes that you have flying anxiety, which usually leads to them feeding you free cups of ‘Gingerale’ (smelling strangely of Chardonnay) for the next five hours. As a thank you, tell them your life story.

- Eat Teddy Grahams.

- Organize your Desktop.

- Tell the soldier that you don’t want to Die.

Look at me, working through this! You’re a big girl, you! Who needs therapy, when there are teddy grahams.

I came across this phrase ‘Divine Arithmetic’ when I was reading yesterday and I like it very much. I think it actually can refer to a few things, like how much time you have left on earth and how you should make use of this time – but yesterday’s read was about the mathematics of kindness. ‘The only way to keep money or land is to give it away,’ or, the only true way to be happy is to let go of what you have. And so, what do I have? What could I give?  Which leads me to imagine a scenario in which I present a homeless person with a homemade monologue.

HP: What the crap is this?

Me: it’s a homemade monologue! I wrote it for you!

HP:…..Can I eat it?

Me:…No?

HP: Can I sleep in it?

Me: …Metaphorically, maybe?

HP: Come find me when you have a sandwich.

But really, I have time and energy, most of the time, and this is what I should give.

Fans, yet another year of Oscar Nominee Announcements, and yet another year where I AM NOT NOMINATED FOR CRAP. Please begin your petitioning campaign.

Relatedly, are you sick and tired of people telling you that you should see The Artist because it’s Really Good and You would Really Love the Artist? Well quit your whining and WATCH THE ARTIST because yes, it really is that Good.

Now while I realize what I just referenced is technically an African American spiritual song, I’d like to claim partial ownership, as my Mom used to sing it to me whenever it rained in reference to Israelites’ escape out of Egypt. MINE! Speaking of mass exodus and biblical things, LA cannot handle its rain. It happens rarely, but when it does – it floods. There’s virtually no drainage system and so you must swim to, and in and out of, your car. Okay fine, 80% of the time it’s sunny and warm, but I just wanted to combat all assumptions that all I do here is sunbathe. Sometimes, it rains, and in my defense, I have yet to see the beach. But still, woe is certainly not me!

A few days with Ms. Castoria, editor of PRODUCT PLACEMENT VegNews Magazine END PRODUCT PLACEMENT standardly means eating very, very well.

See  noodles with tofu and mushrooms at Vietnoodle in Atwater village:

And also see M Cafe in West Hollywood’s offerings of peanut kale salad, maple roasted vegetables and soba noodles:

I’d like to thank her for forcing me to leave the two mile radius around my apartment and go to OTHER places to eat things.

Because 16 year old Laura Dekker completed a 518 day solo sail around the world. Personally, I got a purple pedicure.

Horror movie, or best thing ever? (BEST THING.) One plus to being in LA for a bit is being in the same time zone as Ms. Castoria, who’s down this weekend from San Fran for eating / buying things / buying and eating things to celebrate our nearly eighth year of friendship. We applaud ourselves for how far we’ve come since then / how much we still only wear clothes from forever 21.

Sometimes, fresh oysters from Massachusetts are integral to the TV making process.

I’m writing a play for a group of awesome high school students studying at a school for Performing Arts in Manhattan. I’m so impressed with the kids’ maturity and intelligence, given that when I was sixteen, I’m pretty sure I was going through a phase where I ate starlight mints instead of brushing my teeth. I’m also pretty sure my Mom still helped me dry my hair.  It’s exciting and the best but also really  challenging to create something for specific actors, so I’m going off of video individual and group interviews and questionnaires for inspiration. I think I’ve finally landed on a nugget of an idea – students, I will see your Mermaid request, and raise you ROBOTS. That’s right. I finally, finally get to express all of my intrigue and love for AI in a play. Coming soon to a gymnasium turned into a theater near you!